This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Madacy Entertainment. All opinions are 100% mine.

I just got off the phone with my youngest, my son, who was calling to ask me to sign paperwork so he could join the military. He graduated last year and has since been in college at South Georgia Tech. Even though he is over 6 foot tall, I still see the little boy when I look at him

The holidays are going to be real hard without my kids this year. They grow up way too fast. In the blink of an eye it's over, and memories are all that remain of the children they used to be, as they are grown adults with their own lives now.

The best times we had when the kids were little was singing Christmas carols. Frosty the Snowman was always my favorite and Silent Night was the kids favorite! Right now you can find those songs on Amazon.com to download to your MP3 for only $3.69! The download is part of their Black Friday sale and it usually retails for $9.49 giving you a huge savings and the perfect way to celebrate the holidays with your kids!

Even if your kids are grown, like mine are, you will still want to own these holiday classics for the memories it will evoke. Listening to all those songs again, sung by the Countdown Kids, has made me smile today! Go buy yours today and smile with me

60 Christmas Carols For Kids

        

Straight from the mouth of a 96 year old woman today...

Getting old is a bitch.

        

There are no words that can express my gratitude.  I can say Welcome Home!  I can also say I truly appreciate your service to our country.  I have freedom because you, and my husband, chose to serve the greatest country in the world!  Thank you.  Welcome home. I am grateful for all you, and your family, have sacrificed.

Sincerely,

Military Wife, Mom, and soon to be the mom of a soldier.  I am honored by all service members and the freedom you have given me!

AIRBORNE!!!

        

Today brought a new realization of how just a few weeks of unemployment can change your life and make it really suck beyond your wildest imagination.  I love my job, I love the area, I love the people I work for. 

I miss my kids so much I have been ready to cry all day long.  The holidays are coming up and for the first time in our lives we won't be spending it with our kids. 

Money may not can "buy" happiness but I have to say it sure as hell helps make your life happier because it affords you the simple pleasures like sending your kids a ticket to visit so you can spend Christmas Eve together. 

With all the people in my life I have come to love over the past few months I have never felt so alone.  I miss my kids.

        

Recently, I boarded an elevator with a gentleman and when I asked which floor he replied "I'm going to the 4th floor.  Soon." 

I laughed and replied "It will be a little windy up there". 

He smiled and said "Not where I'm going" 

Our building only has three floors.  I will really miss him when he goes; but, I know he will be where he wants to be - the 4th floor must be an amazing place  

        

I believe in ghosts.  I have seen them.  Occasionally they talk to me.  I know, I'm strange.

        

The things I remember growing up........

·  i remember moving all the time

·  i remember moving from Ohio to Alabama and not being allowed to tell anybody

·  i remember the night my grandfather had the car wreck that changed our lives forever

·  i remember mama telling us if dad dies she would lock us in the car, in the garage with the motor running saying "we would all go together"

·  i remember being told to lean forward in the car so mama could pull my hair or slap me - i always did cuz the alternative would be worse

·  i remember mama pulling into stranger's driveways and telling us to get out of the car, she was leaving us there

·  i remember being called an accident and my sister a mistake

·  i remember getting my ass beat with a fireplace shovel til i hyperventilated

·  i remember getting sent off to a christian school cuz we were disobedient and they were dealing cocaine

·  i remember coming home cuz uncle wally demanded it and i had nothing left.  my clothes, jewelry, stuffed animals and books were all gone

·  i remember going into The Pegasus in Muscle Shoals and buying inositol cuz they were too paranoid too - i was 15

·  i remember i was supposed to flush the drugs if the police showed up - again 15

·  i remember the first time i got drunk was me, denise, rob, and carl - drinking capfuls of some sweet red wine.  We were young, maybe 4-7 years old.  They were smoking marijuana.

·  i remember one fourth of july all the men got drunk and shot fireworks towards each other, burning holes in all their clothes

·  i remember the well on riverview road and the nightmares i had where screams came up from it

·  i remember my grandma threatening to stab my grandfather with a screw driver - this was after the accident

·  i remember the desk in grandma’s office and after the divorce (auction) my best friend’s mom had it in her bedroom

·  i remember being 13 and taking a whole bottle of aspirin - didn't kill me, just made my ears ring all night long

·  i remember running away from home when i was in kindergarten

·  i remember my dad pulling a gun on my mom while my baby girl was in mom's lap

·  i remember the Christmas eve it snowed in alabama (1989) and dad made us all go to bed early because i made my daughter go to bed at 9:00 pm so Santa could come - we had lotsa toys to put together.

·  i remember almost every holiday being a circus cuz one or more people got drunk and fucked it up

·  i remember having a Honda 50 motor bike and it being stolen.  To this day I think mama did it because it made us happy.

·  i remember going to west virginia to see my grandarents and mama and her friend giving the four of us kids (two hers and two her girlfriend's) a 10 milligram valium, split 4 ways, to shut us up.

·  I remember mama and the same friend picking up hitchhikers and putting them in the back of a pickup truck with us four girls.

·  i remember in 1971 when my uncle mike died from an overdose mama had a nervous breakdown and and poured bleach in every plant she had and slept for days on end.

·  i remember the story of my  mom calling her mom and telling her to come get me or she was going to throw me out the window.

·  i remember crawling out the window to get away once i was older

·  I remember being grounded from my room

·  I remember being grounded from reading books

·  I remember being grounded for bringing home straight A's and one 89 B - one more point would have saved me 6 weeks of misery

·  i remember begging Mr. Swinea the next semester for a way to make up 1 point so i wasn't grounded again for another 6 weeks

·  i remember when i was thirsty being told to "swallow your spit"

·  I remember having credit and letting our families take advantage of it for boat seats and furniture and never paying us back

·  i remember buying a car from my cousin and sending mama money to pay him and i don't think she ever did

·  i remember the pain i felt when she took my kids just because she could - dad worked for attorneys and judges

·  i remember being told by my in-laws that "if the judge said it was true, it must be"

·  I know every night mama had my son she would make him pack his clothes and wait for us to come get him and then tell him we didn't love him - knowing we weren't allowed to  pick him up

·  I remember the chritmas my daughter got 100's of dollars spent on her and my son got a $10 dump truck

·  i remember them taking my kids a second time and us moving to Georgia, leaving everything behind, because once again they had no grounds or basis

·  i remember crawling in the back of a dear friends van and never looking back as we left our home and all of our belongings to keep our kids

·  i remember going hungry to feed my kids

·  i remember living with little food, no phone, no internet, no car - just so we could keep our kids - utilities were in the landlords name and when we finally got a phone it was in mama's maiden name.  for the first year nobody but one person in alabama knew how to reach us.

·  I remember bailing hay, with asthma, to bring home $20 for groceries

·  I remember I hated working at wal-mart but it fed the kids

·  I remember being arrested on my way to work for no license, no insurance, loud muffler - my first check was going to get me glasses so i could  get my license renewed.  the muffler was the least of my problems.

·  i remember having to quit college because we had to leave alabama to keep our kids.  i completed 21 hours the first semester, (with a 4.0 in all but one class)  the year my son started kindergarten, but everybody thought i was supposed to stay home and be a mom.  that's the first reason  given to take my kids - i was neglecting them by not being there during the day, while they were in school.

·  I remember nobody called to tell my husband his grandmother had died

·  I remember my cousin steve died before i was ready to lose him

·  my cousin mike could have been so much more

· I know i can't find the rest of my cousins online - we've lost touch

·  I remember i still owe my aunt and uncle for a final electric bill i promised to pay if they would keep the utilities in their name

·  i never went to my grandfather’s funeral

·  my uncle charlie died too young and i miss him terribly 

·  my husband and I are both unemployed due to state budget cuts - I hated my job but he loved his because. he built it from the water up (he was the marina manager)

        

my days are running together into one long nightmare. that's all i have when i sleep now - nightmares of being homeless even tho i have taken every precaution to survive. all the bills are paid through next month and the deep freeze and pantry are full. no jobs to be found worth applying for - applying for the few that do exist. we're fine, i just gotta pull it together and get over the anger and the anger. i gave that place my all and i got nothing in return except the shaft.

        

I am 41 years old and have worked most most of my adult life.  In all that time I had never been fired from a job, always staying for years, always excelling at whatever industry I was working within.  Until Friday, June 12, 2009. 

For the first time in my life I was terminated.  If that wasn't enough of a shock, my husband was also terminated.  Positions eliminated due to budget cuts.  The worst of it all is it happened simultaneously.  Right after our morning meeting the boss called us both into his office and before he even finished sitting down he  said "you're positions have been eliminated due to budget cuts effective immediately."  Not only was this my first time ever being terminated, I had to experience that humiliation in front of my husband, and him me. 

We only received one week's severance and I was 6 weeks short of 6 years with the company (I was also denied my accrued vacation).  My husband had his 4 year anniversary in June so he was paid out his earned vacation.  Whoever said money wasn't everything sure as hell didn't lose two income simultaneously with two kids and five birds to feed.

I have decided to look upon this an an opportunity.  An opportunity to give blogging my attention like I would a full time job.  I plan to devote time to my bird rescue as well.  Hopefully, by year end, I will have it operating as a real charitable organization and will be able to rescue more feathered friends in need of a good home.  My husband is job hunting.  We're also packing because we have to find a cheaper place to live.

I'm still attending IzeaFest in October!  The trip was paid for months ago and it is now the light shining at the end of my tunnel.  Some time to let go and not worry!

I believe everything happens for a reason and surely something great is out there just waiting for us to find it!

        

To be tired and not be able to go to sleep is the worst.  Thankfully, or not, I don't have to work tomorrow - or the next day, or the day after that.  Is it menopause and hormones that cause insomnia?  Maybe it's worry and stress?  Maybe it's both.  All I know is it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake.  Hopefully not for long; hopefully the Tylenol PM will kick in soon and this time when I close my eyes I will find dreams of better days.