The things I remember growing up........

·  i remember moving all the time

·  i remember moving from Ohio to Alabama and not being allowed to tell anybody

·  i remember the night my grandfather had the car wreck that changed our lives forever

·  i remember mama telling us if dad dies she would lock us in the car, in the garage with the motor running saying "we would all go together"

·  i remember being told to lean forward in the car so mama could pull my hair or slap me - i always did cuz the alternative would be worse

·  i remember mama pulling into stranger's driveways and telling us to get out of the car, she was leaving us there

·  i remember being called an accident and my sister a mistake

·  i remember getting my ass beat with a fireplace shovel til i hyperventilated

·  i remember getting sent off to a christian school cuz we were disobedient and they were dealing cocaine

·  i remember coming home cuz uncle wally demanded it and i had nothing left.  my clothes, jewelry, stuffed animals and books were all gone

·  i remember going into The Pegasus in Muscle Shoals and buying inositol cuz they were too paranoid too - i was 15

·  i remember i was supposed to flush the drugs if the police showed up - again 15

·  i remember the first time i got drunk was me, denise, rob, and carl - drinking capfuls of some sweet red wine.  We were young, maybe 4-7 years old.  They were smoking marijuana.

·  i remember one fourth of july all the men got drunk and shot fireworks towards each other, burning holes in all their clothes

·  i remember the well on riverview road and the nightmares i had where screams came up from it

·  i remember my grandma threatening to stab my grandfather with a screw driver - this was after the accident

·  i remember the desk in grandma’s office and after the divorce (auction) my best friend’s mom had it in her bedroom

·  i remember being 13 and taking a whole bottle of aspirin - didn't kill me, just made my ears ring all night long

·  i remember running away from home when i was in kindergarten

·  i remember my dad pulling a gun on my mom while my baby girl was in mom's lap

·  i remember the Christmas eve it snowed in alabama (1989) and dad made us all go to bed early because i made my daughter go to bed at 9:00 pm so Santa could come - we had lotsa toys to put together.

·  i remember almost every holiday being a circus cuz one or more people got drunk and fucked it up

·  i remember having a Honda 50 motor bike and it being stolen.  To this day I think mama did it because it made us happy.

·  i remember going to west virginia to see my grandarents and mama and her friend giving the four of us kids (two hers and two her girlfriend's) a 10 milligram valium, split 4 ways, to shut us up.

·  I remember mama and the same friend picking up hitchhikers and putting them in the back of a pickup truck with us four girls.

·  i remember in 1971 when my uncle mike died from an overdose mama had a nervous breakdown and and poured bleach in every plant she had and slept for days on end.

·  i remember the story of my  mom calling her mom and telling her to come get me or she was going to throw me out the window.

·  i remember crawling out the window to get away once i was older

·  I remember being grounded from my room

·  I remember being grounded from reading books

·  I remember being grounded for bringing home straight A's and one 89 B - one more point would have saved me 6 weeks of misery

·  i remember begging Mr. Swinea the next semester for a way to make up 1 point so i wasn't grounded again for another 6 weeks

·  i remember when i was thirsty being told to "swallow your spit"

·  I remember having credit and letting our families take advantage of it for boat seats and furniture and never paying us back

·  i remember buying a car from my cousin and sending mama money to pay him and i don't think she ever did

·  i remember the pain i felt when she took my kids just because she could - dad worked for attorneys and judges

·  i remember being told by my in-laws that "if the judge said it was true, it must be"

·  I know every night mama had my son she would make him pack his clothes and wait for us to come get him and then tell him we didn't love him - knowing we weren't allowed to  pick him up

·  I remember the chritmas my daughter got 100's of dollars spent on her and my son got a $10 dump truck

·  i remember them taking my kids a second time and us moving to Georgia, leaving everything behind, because once again they had no grounds or basis

·  i remember crawling in the back of a dear friends van and never looking back as we left our home and all of our belongings to keep our kids

·  i remember going hungry to feed my kids

·  i remember living with little food, no phone, no internet, no car - just so we could keep our kids - utilities were in the landlords name and when we finally got a phone it was in mama's maiden name.  for the first year nobody but one person in alabama knew how to reach us.

·  I remember bailing hay, with asthma, to bring home $20 for groceries

·  I remember I hated working at wal-mart but it fed the kids

·  I remember being arrested on my way to work for no license, no insurance, loud muffler - my first check was going to get me glasses so i could  get my license renewed.  the muffler was the least of my problems.

·  i remember having to quit college because we had to leave alabama to keep our kids.  i completed 21 hours the first semester, (with a 4.0 in all but one class)  the year my son started kindergarten, but everybody thought i was supposed to stay home and be a mom.  that's the first reason  given to take my kids - i was neglecting them by not being there during the day, while they were in school.

·  I remember nobody called to tell my husband his grandmother had died

·  I remember my cousin steve died before i was ready to lose him

·  my cousin mike could have been so much more

· I know i can't find the rest of my cousins online - we've lost touch

·  I remember i still owe my aunt and uncle for a final electric bill i promised to pay if they would keep the utilities in their name

·  i never went to my grandfather’s funeral

·  my uncle charlie died too young and i miss him terribly 

·  my husband and I are both unemployed due to state budget cuts - I hated my job but he loved his because. he built it from the water up (he was the marina manager)

        

my days are running together into one long nightmare. that's all i have when i sleep now - nightmares of being homeless even tho i have taken every precaution to survive. all the bills are paid through next month and the deep freeze and pantry are full. no jobs to be found worth applying for - applying for the few that do exist. we're fine, i just gotta pull it together and get over the anger and the anger. i gave that place my all and i got nothing in return except the shaft.

        

I am 41 years old and have worked most most of my adult life.  In all that time I had never been fired from a job, always staying for years, always excelling at whatever industry I was working within.  Until Friday, June 12, 2009. 

For the first time in my life I was terminated.  If that wasn't enough of a shock, my husband was also terminated.  Positions eliminated due to budget cuts.  The worst of it all is it happened simultaneously.  Right after our morning meeting the boss called us both into his office and before he even finished sitting down he  said "you're positions have been eliminated due to budget cuts effective immediately."  Not only was this my first time ever being terminated, I had to experience that humiliation in front of my husband, and him me. 

We only received one week's severance and I was 6 weeks short of 6 years with the company (I was also denied my accrued vacation).  My husband had his 4 year anniversary in June so he was paid out his earned vacation.  Whoever said money wasn't everything sure as hell didn't lose two income simultaneously with two kids and five birds to feed.

I have decided to look upon this an an opportunity.  An opportunity to give blogging my attention like I would a full time job.  I plan to devote time to my bird rescue as well.  Hopefully, by year end, I will have it operating as a real charitable organization and will be able to rescue more feathered friends in need of a good home.  My husband is job hunting.  We're also packing because we have to find a cheaper place to live.

I'm still attending IzeaFest in October!  The trip was paid for months ago and it is now the light shining at the end of my tunnel.  Some time to let go and not worry!

I believe everything happens for a reason and surely something great is out there just waiting for us to find it!

        

To be tired and not be able to go to sleep is the worst.  Thankfully, or not, I don't have to work tomorrow - or the next day, or the day after that.  Is it menopause and hormones that cause insomnia?  Maybe it's worry and stress?  Maybe it's both.  All I know is it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake.  Hopefully not for long; hopefully the Tylenol PM will kick in soon and this time when I close my eyes I will find dreams of better days.

        

Lately, when i get off work earlier than my husband, I have been taking my laptop to the Marina and finding an empty boat to set up office in and blog.    My latest project, www.marinaatlakeblackshear.com/blog, was definitely inspired by the atmosphere.  It's definitely not quiet here but it is very relaxing to be on the water and have time that's all mine, nobody but me and some country music playing on the satellite radio. 

Don't get me wrong, it's busier than all get out here today; but, everybody here is having fun.  They are all out on boats, being pulled on tubes, jet skis with up to three riders at once, swimming - they are all relaxing!  Thats the atmosphere that is catching   I am finding it quite productive too.  There are few interruptions unless I choose to let something catch my interest and then I people watch for a bit.

The sunshine is bouncing off the waves all the watercraft leave in their wake and the water appears to sparkle as if diamonds were floating upon each wave.  Hope your day is as relaxing as mine right now!

Manta Mania 3

        

Ok, so probably not the most beautiful weather for most of you but I am in heaven!  It's pouring rain, thunder, lightning.....  I am sitting in a docked pontoon boat, under a metal roof and it sounds almost deafening.  It sounds heavenly!  Most of all I am smiling

Manta Mania 3

        

IZEAFest at SeaWorld from Ted Murphy on Vimeo.

Woo-Hoo!!! Taking 12 days off in October and going to Florida! I am beginning my adventure with 5 nights at the Renaissance Hotel in Orlando and attending IZEAfest! Still not sure what we're doing from the 5th until the 11th but I am leaving Georgia on 9/30 and don't plan on returning until 10/11. IZEAfest is a blogger's conference and last year I learned so much and am now making more money blogging. It is very informative and well worth the ticket price. Watch the Video and then join us for an exciting conference!

Manta Mania 3

        

So, we left work early today cuz the weather was getting ugly.  By ugly, I mean it was going to rain pretty good and the Jeep was half naked.  Half naked means she only has doors and the cover over the front.  That cover sags when it fills with water and when it un-fills it usually soaks my seats.  So, by the time hubby left the Marina to get me from the front desk my seat was soaked and my ass was wet.  Even worse, tomorrow is Sunday so I had to stop by Wal-Mart for beer, cream cheese, and chives.  I can get the cream cheese and chives on any day but we live in the Bible Belt and there are no liquor sales on Sunday.  Sucks.

We're driving through town, stopped by Walgreen's to get my blood pressure pills and the sirens start going off.  We've been under a tornado watch all day so this means a tornado has been spotted or has hit the ground.  I immediately call work, everything is fine, take a quick look around (which is easy to do in a half-naked jeep) and see not funnel clouds or tornadoes.  This is GOOD.  Then we head to wally world for the rest of our stuff.

As we walk through the door they are not handing out carts as usual.  Instead, they are telling everybody to go immediately to the center of the store.  We did.  Then we wondered why was the middle of the store the safest place?  Where is the support wall that is to keep everything from falling on us?  Hubby jokingly says "we're in soft goods; we will just have flying clothes coming at us."  I was not amused.

I'm staring at all the people standing in the middle of the store, huddled together like cattle and thinking I've had enough of this.  We headed off to get our groceries - I only needed cream cheese, chives, pita chips and beer.  AND - the self checkout lanes were still open.  Nobody was using them but that never stops me from trying.  I wanted to go home.  Wal-Mart gives me horrid panic attacks and everybody in the whole store, huddled like cattle, meant the rest of the store was empty!

Just as we unloaded our few items onto the self-checkout lane the manager comes by and says you can't leave - please proceed to the center of the store.  F%#$ Almost made it out the door.  She then proceeded to shut down all the self service aisles. 

ya know, 15 minutes can seem like an eternity when you're thinking "I don't want to die in Wal-Mart, with a herd of cattle, because of a tornado and the idiot managers think the middle of the store is safest.  What ever happened to being next to a support wall?  If a tornado rips the roof all Wal-Mart would not all the things in the center be sucked up into the storm?  There is not even a permanent fixture here for me to grab hold of should I require it.  I would go flying into the tornado, along with the rack of sweatshirts I am standing next to, cuz that rack they're on sure as hell ain't bolted to the floor. 

It took me a few minutes to realize I have never seen Wal-Mart with every single check-out lane EMPTY.  It was like being in a Stephen King movie or maybe the Resurrection had really happened.  Groceries on the check out lanes and no people.  NO PEOPLE.  Check it out!

Kinda creepy  - like the Langoliers, unless you stood in the middle of the store like cattle waiting to be slaughtered.

Manta Mania 3

        

Personally, i think the price on the shelf should be the price a store honors.  IF!  it is obvious that an item just hasn't been thrown back on a shelf by a previous customer.  If, for instance, there are three items neatly stacked in front of a price then I would expect that to be the price I pay.  That is not what I experienced in Cordele, GA tonight at the Pilot Travel center.  Furthermore, the manager on duty, Karen, was overly rude and dismissed me by opening a register and yelling "Can I help somebody".  After pulling a 10 hour day at work I was tired, I thought I found a deal (and in this economy we can all use a price break), and I was dismissed and embarrassed in front of at least 20+ other customers in the store.  It was humiliating and I am venting.

Karen really needs some customer service training, not to mention people skills in general.  As busy as the store was she should have had a register open instead of opening one to avoid solving my dilemma.

I went in to the Pilot to purchase beer and cigarettes while my husband filled the Jeep up at the fuel pumps.  I perused the beer section and saw Corona Light was $8.99 but the Corona Extra was marked $6.49.  I thought I had found a sale and picked up a 6 pack of Corona Extra.  There were 5 beers lined across the front of the shelf, all the beers behind the front pack were the same, there was no room for a 6 pack to have been misplaced.

I carried my beer to the counter and when she scanned it the price of $8.99 showed up and I informed the clerk the price on the shelf was $6.49.  She was very polite and walked to the beer cooler to confirm my claim.  She came back and said "No, the price is $8.99 and offered to show me.  So, we both walked back to the beer cooler and I showed her where clearly the two rows of Corona Light were $8.99 but the Corona Extra was $6.49 and there were two more 6 packs behind it indicating the package was not misplaced.  Also, the corona Light shelves were filled to the back as were the two beers on the right of the Corona Extra.

This is a picture of the beer cooler after the manager on duty, Karen, refused to honor the price on the shelf.  I told her that was false advertising and I would be writing corporate but I chose to blog this instead.   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Had I been the manager I would have apologized to the customer, honored the price and corrected the pricing immediately.  Karen walked away from the customer, without fixing the price and refused to deal with the situation.

        

it is so easy to hide behind what people "think" you like.  kinda like my trip the lady graphic   once upon a time i was skinny, size 5 was loose at the height of my anorexic, bulimic high school years.  yeah, i was both growing up.  enough of that.  i am not happy with my weight now but i am healthy.

so, without further ado:  featherpluckers.com/index.php/2009/02/12/121/  this is me and my african grey and she makes me happy!  i make her happy!  the more i weigh the more places she can kiss me   same with edgar my cat - he loves me regardless.  and this is floyd, pretty boy floyd to be more exact.  he's my rescued great dane who is deaf and can squeeze himself into a tiny ball on my couch.  my house is filled with love and it's filled with animals.  i love them all and i am happy i could save each of them from certain death - edgar's litter mates all died, anemia from flea infestation, nobody knew floyd was deaf and his stupid mom called him scooby dumb, and poor tweak was so weak the day i brought her home she couldn't stand on one leg.  this is my life and these are my babies.  i am thankful they found their way into my home.

me & tweak

pretty boy floyd

and we'll save edgar for a better day