Life after a Hysterectomy

Mama died on June 26..... the things i remember

Life After Hysterectomy — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 03:14:00 GMT

The things I remember growing up........

· i remember moving all the time

· i remember moving from Ohio to Alabama and not being allowed to tell anybody

· i remember the night my grandfather had the car wreck that changed our lives forever

· i remember mama telling us if dad dies she would lock us in the car, in the garage with the motor running saying "we would all go together"

· i remember being told to lean forward in the car so mama could pull my hair or slap me - i always did cuz the alternative would be worse

· i remember mama pulling into stranger's driveways and telling us to get out of the car, she was leaving us there

· i remember being called an accident and my sister a mistake

· i remember getting my ass beat with a fireplace shovel til i hyperventilated

· i remember getting sent off to a christian school cuz we were disobedient and they were dealing cocaine

· i remember coming home cuz uncle wally demanded it and i had nothing left. my clothes, jewelry, stuffed animals and books were all gone

· i remember going into The Pegasus in Muscle Shoals and buying inositol cuz they were too paranoid too - i was 15

· i remember i was supposed to flush the drugs if the police showed up - again 15

· i remember the first time i got drunk was me, denise, rob, and carl - drinking capfuls of some sweet red wine. We were young, maybe 4-7 years old. They were smoking marijuana.

· i remember one fourth of july all the men got drunk and shot fireworks towards each other, burning holes in all their clothes

· i remember the well on riverview road and the nightmares i had where screams came up from it

· i remember my grandma threatening to stab my grandfather with a screw driver - this was after the accident

· i remember the desk in grandma’s office and after the divorce (auction) my best friend’s mom had it in her bedroom

· i remember being 13 and taking a whole bottle of aspirin - didn't kill me, just made my ears ring all night long

· i remember running away from home when i was in kindergarten

· i remember my dad pulling a gun on my mom while my baby girl was in mom's lap

· i remember the Christmas eve it snowed in alabama (1989) and dad made us all go to bed early because i made my daughter go to bed at 9:00 pm so Santa could come - we had lotsa toys to put together.

· i remember almost every holiday being a circus cuz one or more people got drunk and fucked it up

· i remember having a Honda 50 motor bike and it being stolen. To this day I think mama did it because it made us happy.

· i remember going to west virginia to see my grandarents and mama and her friend giving the four of us kids (two hers and two her girlfriend's) a 10 milligram valium, split 4 ways, to shut us up.

· I remember mama and the same friend picking up hitchhikers and putting them in the back of a pickup truck with us four girls.

· i remember in 1971 when my uncle mike died from an overdose mama had a nervous breakdown and and poured bleach in every plant she had and slept for days on end.

· i remember the story of my mom calling her mom and telling her to come get me or she was going to throw me out the window.

· i remember crawling out the window to get away once i was older

· I remember being grounded from my room

· I remember being grounded from reading books

· I remember being grounded for bringing home straight A's and one 89 B - one more point would have saved me 6 weeks of misery

· i remember begging Mr. Swinea the next semester for a way to make up 1 point so i wasn't grounded again for another 6 weeks

· i remember when i was thirsty being told to "swallow your spit"

· I remember having credit and letting our families take advantage of it for boat seats and furniture and never paying us back

· i remember buying a car from my cousin and sending mama money to pay him and i don't think she ever did

· i remember the pain i felt when she took my kids just because she could - dad worked for attorneys and judges

· i remember being told by my in-laws that "if the judge said it was true, it must be"

· I know every night mama had my son she would make him pack his clothes and wait for us to come get him and then tell him we didn't love him - knowing we weren't allowed to pick him up

· I remember the chritmas my daughter got 100's of dollars spent on her and my son got a $10 dump truck

· i remember them taking my kids a second time and us moving to Georgia, leaving everything behind, because once again they had no grounds or basis

· i remember crawling in the back of a dear friends van and never looking back as we left our home and all of our belongings to keep our kids

· i remember going hungry to feed my kids

· i remember living with little food, no phone, no internet, no car - just so we could keep our kids - utilities were in the landlords name and when we finally got a phone it was in mama's maiden name. for the first year nobody but one person in alabama knew how to reach us.

· I remember bailing hay, with asthma, to bring home $20 for groceries

· I remember I hated working at wal-mart but it fed the kids

· I remember being arrested on my way to work for no license, no insurance, loud muffler - my first check was going to get me glasses so i could get my license renewed. the muffler was the least of my problems.

· i remember having to quit college because we had to leave alabama to keep our kids. i completed 21 hours the first semester, (with a 4.0 in all but one class) the year my son started kindergarten, but everybody thought i was supposed to stay home and be a mom. that's the first reason given to take my kids - i was neglecting them by not being there during the day, while they were in school.

· I remember nobody called to tell my husband his grandmother had died

· I remember my cousin steve died before i was ready to lose him

· my cousin mike could have been so much more

· I know i can't find the rest of my cousins online - we've lost touch

· I remember i still owe my aunt and uncle for a final electric bill i promised to pay if they would keep the utilities in their name

· i never went to my grandfather’s funeral

· my uncle charlie died too young and i miss him terribly

· my husband and I are both unemployed due to state budget cuts - I hated my job but he loved his because. he built it from the water up (he was the marina manager)

exactly what day is today?

Life After Hysterectomy — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 03:03:00 GMT

my days are running together into one long nightmare. that's all i have when i sleep now - nightmares of being homeless even tho i have taken every precaution to survive. all the bills are paid through next month and the deep freeze and pantry are full. no jobs to be found worth applying for - applying for the few that do exist. we're fine, i just gotta pull it together and get over the anger and the anger. i gave that place my all and i got nothing in return except the shaft.

Turn the page to a new chapter in our life

Life After Hysterectomy — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 01:15:00 GMT

I am 41 years old and have worked most most of my adult life. In all that time I had never been fired from a job, always staying for years, always excelling at whatever industry I was working within. Until Friday, June 12, 2009.

For the first time in my life I was terminated. If that wasn't enough of a shock, my husband was also terminated. Positions eliminated due to budget cuts. The worst of it all is it happened simultaneously. Right after our morning meeting the boss called us both into his office and before he even finished sitting down he said "you're positions have been eliminated due to budget cuts effective immediately." Not only was this my first time ever being terminated, I had to experience that humiliation in front of my husband, and him me.

We only received one week's severance and I was 6 weeks short of 6 years with the company (I was also denied my accrued vacation). My husband had his 4 year anniversary in June so he was paid out his earned vacation. Whoever said money wasn't everything sure as hell didn't lose two income simultaneously with two kids and five birds to feed.

I have decided to look upon this an an opportunity. An opportunity to give blogging my attention like I would a full time job. I plan to devote time to my bird rescue as well. Hopefully, by year end, I will have it operating as a real charitable organization and will be able to rescue more feathered friends in need of a good home. My husband is job hunting. We're also packing because we have to find a cheaper place to live.

I'm still attending IzeaFest in October! The trip was paid for months ago and it is now the light shining at the end of my tunnel. Some time to let go and not worry!

I believe everything happens for a reason and surely something great is out there just waiting for us to find it!

The Dreaded Insomnia

Life After Hysterectomy — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:29:00 GMT

To be tired and not be able to go to sleep is the worst. Thankfully, or not, I don't have to work tomorrow - or the next day, or the day after that. Is it menopause and hormones that cause insomnia? Maybe it's worry and stress? Maybe it's both. All I know is it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. Hopefully not for long; hopefully the Tylenol PM will kick in soon and this time when I close my eyes I will find dreams of better days.

Hello from my new favorite blogging hangout!

Life After Hysterectomy — Sun, 31 May 2009 20:05:00 GMT

Lately, when i get off work earlier than my husband, I have been taking my laptop to the Marina and finding an empty boat to set up office in and blog. My latest project, www.marinaatlakeblackshear.com/blog, was definitely inspired by the atmosphere. It's definitely not quiet here but it is very relaxing to be on the water and have time that's all mine, nobody but me and some country music playing on the satellite radio.

Don't get me wrong, it's busier than all get out here today; but, everybody here is having fun. They are all out on boats, being pulled on tubes, jet skis with up to three riders at once, swimming - they are all relaxing! Thats the atmosphere that is catching I am finding it quite productive too. There are few interruptions unless I choose to let something catch my interest and then I people watch for a bit.

The sunshine is bouncing off the waves all the watercraft leave in their wake and the water appears to sparkle as if diamonds were floating upon each wave. Hope your day is as relaxing as mine right now!

Manta Mania 3

The weather is beautiful!

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:16:00 GMT

Ok, so probably not the most beautiful weather for most of you but I am in heaven! It's pouring rain, thunder, lightning..... I am sitting in a docked pontoon boat, under a metal roof and it sounds almost deafening. It sounds heavenly! Most of all I am smiling

Manta Mania 3

My Vacation has been approved!!!

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:39:00 GMT

IZEAFest at SeaWorld from Ted Murphy on Vimeo.

Woo-Hoo!!! Taking 12 days off in October and going to Florida! I am beginning my adventure with 5 nights at the Renaissance Hotel in Orlando and attending IZEAfest! Still not sure what we're doing from the 5th until the 11th but I am leaving Georgia on 9/30 and don't plan on returning until 10/11. IZEAfest is a blogger's conference and last year I learned so much and am now making more money blogging. It is very informative and well worth the ticket price. Watch the Video and then join us for an exciting conference!

Manta Mania 3

Tornado warnings and going to wally world in the middle of one......

Life After Hysterectomy — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:03:00 GMT

So, we left work early today cuz the weather was getting ugly. By ugly, I mean it was going to rain pretty good and the Jeep was half naked. Half naked means she only has doors and the cover over the front. That cover sags when it fills with water and when it un-fills it usually soaks my seats. So, by the time hubby left the Marina to get me from the front desk my seat was soaked and my ass was wet. Even worse, tomorrow is Sunday so I had to stop by Wal-Mart for beer, cream cheese, and chives. I can get the cream cheese and chives on any day but we live in the Bible Belt and there are no liquor sales on Sunday. Sucks.

We're driving through town, stopped by Walgreen's to get my blood pressure pills and the sirens start going off. We've been under a tornado watch all day so this means a tornado has been spotted or has hit the ground. I immediately call work, everything is fine, take a quick look around (which is easy to do in a half-naked jeep) and see not funnel clouds or tornadoes. This is GOOD. Then we head to wally world for the rest of our stuff.

As we walk through the door they are not handing out carts as usual. Instead, they are telling everybody to go immediately to the center of the store. We did. Then we wondered why was the middle of the store the safest place? Where is the support wall that is to keep everything from falling on us? Hubby jokingly says "we're in soft goods; we will just have flying clothes coming at us." I was not amused.

I'm staring at all the people standing in the middle of the store, huddled together like cattle and thinking I've had enough of this. We headed off to get our groceries - I only needed cream cheese, chives, pita chips and beer. AND - the self checkout lanes were still open. Nobody was using them but that never stops me from trying. I wanted to go home. Wal-Mart gives me horrid panic attacks and everybody in the whole store, huddled like cattle, meant the rest of the store was empty!

Just as we unloaded our few items onto the self-checkout lane the manager comes by and says you can't leave - please proceed to the center of the store. F%#$ Almost made it out the door. She then proceeded to shut down all the self service aisles.

ya know, 15 minutes can seem like an eternity when you're thinking "I don't want to die in Wal-Mart, with a herd of cattle, because of a tornado and the idiot managers think the middle of the store is safest. What ever happened to being next to a support wall? If a tornado rips the roof all Wal-Mart would not all the things in the center be sucked up into the storm? There is not even a permanent fixture here for me to grab hold of should I require it. I would go flying into the tornado, along with the rack of sweatshirts I am standing next to, cuz that rack they're on sure as hell ain't bolted to the floor.

It took me a few minutes to realize I have never seen Wal-Mart with every single check-out lane EMPTY. It was like being in a Stephen King movie or maybe the Resurrection had really happened. Groceries on the check out lanes and no people. NO PEOPLE. Check it out!

Kinda creepy - like the Langoliers, unless you stood in the middle of the store like cattle waiting to be slaughtered.

Manta Mania 3

If a store makes a mistake and prices an item incorrectly on their shelf - should you get the shelf price or the price they thought it was supposed to be?

Life After Hysterectomy — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 03:45:00 GMT

Personally, i think the price on the shelf should be the price a store honors. IF! it is obvious that an item just hasn't been thrown back on a shelf by a previous customer. If, for instance, there are three items neatly stacked in front of a price then I would expect that to be the price I pay. That is not what I experienced in Cordele, GA tonight at the Pilot Travel center. Furthermore, the manager on duty, Karen, was overly rude and dismissed me by opening a register and yelling "Can I help somebody". After pulling a 10 hour day at work I was tired, I thought I found a deal (and in this economy we can all use a price break), and I was dismissed and embarrassed in front of at least 20+ other customers in the store. It was humiliating and I am venting.

Karen really needs some customer service training, not to mention people skills in general. As busy as the store was she should have had a register open instead of opening one to avoid solving my dilemma.

I went in to the Pilot to purchase beer and cigarettes while my husband filled the Jeep up at the fuel pumps. I perused the beer section and saw Corona Light was $8.99 but the Corona Extra was marked $6.49. I thought I had found a sale and picked up a 6 pack of Corona Extra. There were 5 beers lined across the front of the shelf, all the beers behind the front pack were the same, there was no room for a 6 pack to have been misplaced.

I carried my beer to the counter and when she scanned it the price of $8.99 showed up and I informed the clerk the price on the shelf was $6.49. She was very polite and walked to the beer cooler to confirm my claim. She came back and said "No, the price is $8.99 and offered to show me. So, we both walked back to the beer cooler and I showed her where clearly the two rows of Corona Light were $8.99 but the Corona Extra was $6.49 and there were two more 6 packs behind it indicating the package was not misplaced. Also, the corona Light shelves were filled to the back as were the two beers on the right of the Corona Extra.

This is a picture of the beer cooler after the manager on duty, Karen, refused to honor the price on the shelf. I told her that was false advertising and I would be writing corporate but I chose to blog this instead.

Had I been the manager I would have apologized to the customer, honored the price and corrected the pricing immediately. Karen walked away from the customer, without fixing the price and refused to deal with the situation.

at some point in your blogging life you must show who you are

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:31:00 GMT

it is so easy to hide behind what people "think" you like. kinda like my trip the lady graphic once upon a time i was skinny, size 5 was loose at the height of my anorexic, bulimic high school years. yeah, i was both growing up. enough of that. i am not happy with my weight now but i am healthy.

so, without further ado: featherpluckers.com/index.php/2009/02/12/121/ this is me and my african grey and she makes me happy! i make her happy! the more i weigh the more places she can kiss me same with edgar my cat - he loves me regardless. and this is floyd, pretty boy floyd to be more exact. he's my rescued great dane who is deaf and can squeeze himself into a tiny ball on my couch. my house is filled with love and it's filled with animals. i love them all and i am happy i could save each of them from certain death - edgar's litter mates all died, anemia from flea infestation, nobody knew floyd was deaf and his stupid mom called him scooby dumb, and poor tweak was so weak the day i brought her home she couldn't stand on one leg. this is my life and these are my babies. i am thankful they found their way into my home.

me & tweak

pretty boy floyd

and we'll save edgar for a better day

I have never been so tired.....

Life After Hysterectomy — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:55:00 GMT

I have absolutely no energy. At any given time of day I could take a nap. I even fallen asleep at my desk more than once this week. My job doesn't require much physical activity but i do think an extreme amount and spend hours on reports each day. I just feel like its more than that. I can, and often do on weekends, sleep 14+ hours. I used to wake up at 8 am on weekends. Now I can sleep til 2 in the afternoon and still go back to bed at 8 or 9 that evening, then sleep til 2 the next afternoon.

My blogs have certainly suffered lately because of this. I just haven't had the energy to concentrate long enough to write something decent; and, rather than publish trash I choose to publish nothing.

That being said, I'm going to bed even though it's only 7 in the evening. I am tired and want to sleep. Sometimes I wish I never had to wake up. Guess it's time to change my signature too. Life is not feeling so great anymore - just feeling wore out

Kids, Life, and Growing Old

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 00:10:00 GMT

You know you are getting old when your kid turning 21 makes you feel older than the day you turned 40. Yeah, that happened last week. My oldest, my daughter, turned 21. For her birthday she wanted to go visit her great-grandmother, my grandma, and that's what we got her. She left tonight with a the new suitcase James got me for Christmas - cuz it has wheels and would be easier for her to travel with. She has more than a few bucks stashed in various places and she was smiling. I really hope she has a great time. I hope my grandma enjoys the visit. Grandma will turn 82 this May. She is the one thing I really miss about living in North Alabama - I don't get to see her as much as I used to. Been two years now since I visited her last. Sometimes... life and growing old, sneak up on you before you have time to realize you're old, and those you love are even older.

Mood = Melancholy

My response to Deep Discount DVD Customer Service

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:06:00 GMT

I am also CC'ing : Governor's Office of Consumer Affairs, 2 Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive, , East Tower Suite 356, Atlanta, Georgia 30334

.Again, I request you refund me the $13.95 I paid for 2nd day air since I did not get my package in 2-3 days.

From the shipping policy on your site:

UPS Second Day Service - $13.95

*Orders must be placed by 11 A.M. CT to be eligible for Second Day delivery, Second Day orders placed before 11 A.M. CT on Friday will be delivered on the following Tuesday. Second Day delivery will apply only to the first shipment of in-stock items.

Subsequent backorder or pre-orders shipments will be sent via Standard Delivery.
Second Day Service is not available for magazines or for merchandise shipped from the manufacturer such as storage units and movie posters.
We're sorry, but Second Day service to P.O. Boxes, Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, APO/FPO or international addresses is not available.

While you make a point to address when an order placed on Friday will arrive you fail to state an order placed on Wednesday will not be received until the following Monday. I placed my order early Wednesday morning, chose 2nd day air and truly expected to have my purchase arrive on Friday or Saturday at the extreme latest. Generally, orders sent by air do not apply to the standard M-F delivery as it costs extra and consumers expect extra service along with that exorbitant fee.

Debbie B.

The response to my complaint was not what I had hoped for...

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:03:00 GMT

-----Original Message-----
From: Deepdiscount
Sent: Jan 30, 2009 4:09 AM
To: me
Subject: Store: Shipping Charges [Incident: xxxxxx-xxxxxx]

Recently you requested personal assistance from our on-line support
center. Below is a summary of your request and our response.

If this issue is not resolved to your satisfaction, you may reopen it
within the next 7 days.

Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you.

Subject
---------------------------------------------------------------
Store: Shipping Charges

Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Response (tm) - 01/30/2009 03:09 AM
Thank you for contacting DeepDiscount.com!

We are sorry for the confusion. Once the order is placed it normally takes 24 to 48 hours to process and ship the item. As your order was placed on 0121, hence the order was shipped on 01/22 via UPS two day air shipping which normally takes two business days to arrive.

Since 01/24 and 01/25 is a non working day and UPS doesnt work on Saturdays and Sundays, hence your package was delivered on 01/26. We are sorry, we are unable to refund the shipping charges at this stage. We do apologize for the inconvenience caused.

Again, thank you for writing DeepDiscount.com. We appreciate your business.

Regards,

Customer Service Department
cs@DeepDiscount.com
http://www.deepdiscount.com

Real Life Complaint Letter sent to popular DVD Store Tonight!

Life After Hysterectomy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 02:46:00 GMT

I ordered this item (Millenium Gift Set Series Season 1-3) on January 20th with second day air as my preferred shipping. Second day air cost me $13.95. I received this item the following Monday - 7 days after I placed the order. Had you told me it would take that long regardless of which option I chose, I would have chose FREE 5-10 day shipping. I chose 2nd day air because I was in the hospital, with pneumonia, and wanted the DVD's to entertain me while I was sick. They arrived the day I went back to work, a full 7 days after the date of my initial order.

I would like my $13.95 refunded to my credit card or i would like a credit of $13.95 applied to my next order. I don't care which. I would ask for free 2nd day air shipping on my next order to compensate for the the lack of performance on this order, but i can only expect it would still take 5-7 days to get here. I really want compensated for paying for 2 day air and not receiving it, so I want the full monetary value of what I lost. If you can promise 2nd day arrival after I place another, order I will accept that. Otherwise, I want a credit to my account for the amount, either towards a future purchase or as a refund to my credit card, for this order.

Sincerely,

Debbie B.

When I get a response I will update you. I have never had an issue with this company so i will refrain from posting their name unless I receive a negative response, or no response at all. When you write a complaint letter, be clear, to the point, and tell them what you want (they are not mind readers). Always give them more than one option to make you happy and always expect them to come back at you with an option you hadn't considered.

This usually works - I'll let you know how it goes this time

Wordless Wednesday

Life After Hysterectomy — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:40:00 GMT

Home from the hospital toting bruises

Life After Hysterectomy — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:20:00 GMT

I came home from the hospital on Friday but have pretty much been sleeping ever since. I still have pneumonia but it's improving so the doc sent me home with 500 mg Levaquin (antibiotic) and some Tussionex cough syrup. I feel like a pin cushion - between the blood work, two IV's and the flu and pneumonia shot I pretty much have bruises everywhere I look. I'm tired still and not ready to go back to work tomorrow but I must. There is so much to get done and being out a week has already put me behind. Besides, I need the distraction.

My youngest left home to seek employment in Florida yesterday. why he won't stay here and go to school is beyond me but I have given up the fight. I felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall and he was that wall. I just hope he learns a good lesson and comes home ready to start college. I wouldn't be young and do it all over for nothing in the world. So, i guess we are officially "empty nesters" although I really hate that term. A nest is what bee's have, not parents.

I'll be glad when my arms quit hurting from the shots.

Wordless Wednesday

Life After Hysterectomy — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:35:00 GMT

i hate hospitals

Life After Hysterectomy — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:35:00 GMT

i know, not a very appealing meal and yet it was all mine during lunch today. needless to say, most of it went back to the kitchen or wherever they take dead food nobody wants to eat. RIP lunch. really hating we don't have a steak-out here or someplace other than pizza that delivers.

i am in the hospital, pneumonia in both lungs, and i feel like hell.

What Is Your Pirate Name?

Life After Hysterectomy — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:20:00 GMT

Ok, so I'm on Facebook and Drew invited me to play a Pirate game. The first thing the app wants to know is what my pirate name will be, and not wanting one that sucked I went to take a quiz that would give me a great pirate name. So, without further ado, I introduce:

My pirate name is:

Bloody Bess Bonney

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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