6 Things women ought to know about sex after hysterectomy
Sex after hysterectomy is, for most women, a great concern. Logically you will fear that removing one of your reproductive organs may change your sexual relationship with your partner.
Questions you often hear are:
- Will sex feel different? Will it hurt?
- Do all women lose their sex drive?
- Will I still have any pleasure from sex?
- Can my vagina become too short?
Removal of the uterus will inevitably change a couple’s sex life. Often, these changes are positive, especially when the hysterectomy ends years of pain and bleeding from fibroids.
Some women find sex more enjoyable as they can relax now that the risk of pregnancy is gone. But not for all; sometimes intercourse becomes painful, which can stress a relationship.
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Are you feeling nervous or worried about having intercourse after your hysterectomy? Here are a few important facts on a woman’s sexual well-being after hysterectomy surgery.
6 Tips for safe and enjoyable sex after hysterectomy
1. How long do you have to wait?
Having sex after a hysterectomy is not recommended until 6 to 8 weeks after the surgery. The inner and outer wound needs time to heal. Even with a da Vinci hysterectomy, an inner wound needs to heal. This healing can differ from woman to woman, so wait till your doctor gives the OK. Having sex too soon can result in bleeding and wound opening.
2. Feeling less feminine
Some women experience a loss of femininity after their womb is removed. The loss of fertility is extra hard for young women who have not yet completed their families. Women who have their ovaries removed make notably fewer sex hormones (testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone). They are essential for a healthy sex drive.
3. Changes in the pelvic area
A hysterectomy will cause certain changes in the pelvic area. The uterus will be gone, and the vagina may be slightly shorter than before. This usually causes no sexual issues. The vagina is very flexible; it can stretch enough to let a baby through. This increased ability to stretch and lack of estrogen can increase the risk of vaginal wall prolapse. When a bladder or part of the vagina bulges in the vagina’s entrance, this may cause problems with intercourse.
4. Sexual discomfort
One of the most common complaints causing sexual discomfort after a hysterectomy is vaginal dryness. This happens when a woman also loses her ovaries, and the production of estrogen is absent except for that produced in fat stores. As a result, the vaginal wall doesn’t stretch enough, and there will be less blood flow in the area (vaginal atrophy). Lubricants, vaginal moisturizers, and topical estrogen are a few products that can make sex after hysterectomy enjoyable again.
5. Painful intercourse
When sex after hysterectomy is so painful that you want to avoid it at all costs, it’s time to talk to a doctor. We separate two types of pain, one with initial penetration of the vagina and the other during deep penetration. A lack of lubrication or infection often causes pain upon entering. The fear of pain and that the vagina is shorter after the surgery makes it impossible to relax in some women. This can cause an involuntary spasm of the muscles of the vaginal wall (vaginismus).
6. Orgasm after hysterectomy
Finally, many women wonder if they can still have an orgasm. Will the feeling be the same as before the operation? Sometimes, anxiety or depression is why women find it hard to get aroused or are unable to have an orgasm. Some women confess that their orgasms are not as intense as before, which may have to do with the absence of pleasurable uterine contractions or a lack of hormones.
In conclusion
When you experience any sexual dysfunction due to your surgery, talk to your healthcare provider. Don’t let
Do respect that your body needs to recover physically and emotionally.
For most women, a hysterectomy will bring some changes to their sex life. However, most couples do adapt quickly and can enjoy sex after hysterectomy.
Reviewed by: Kimberly Langdon MD (OB/GYN)
Date reviewed: 16/03/2019
Related posts
- No Sex Drive after Hysterectomy – Why it happens and how to increase it?
- Troubled By A Yeast Infection After Hysterectomy? Get Rid Of It Once And For All
- To Cure Vaginal Dryness after Hysterectomy, Here Is What You Should do
- 6 Things women ought to know about sex after hysterectomy
Being a male, I am on the other side of the fence. I can not remark on the feel side, but an expert on the emotional side. I liken a total Hysterectomy to a Radical Prostatectomy for men. Men no longer produce Testosterone and women lose their Hormones. As for men, their sex life is done. For women, they can try different Hormone Treatments, but from my experience, women can still have sex. If that sex was just like pre-hysterectomy, you would not find all of these sites discussing post-hysterectomy issues. You will never be the same once you remove part of the sexual pleasure path, “ever”. My girlfriend of 10 years dramatically changed after her Hysterectomy a few years ago. Not in a good way. She is determined to return to sex like it was pre-hysterectomy, but we are both lying to think it is the same. She can no longer have an orgasm and her clitoris as basically disappeared, it is there, but finding it is near impossible. Sex is actually frustrating and she tries to avoid it most of the time. She was never into oral sex that much, but now she is all over it combined with hand jobs. I know she is trying to get me off before the penetration act. I love her for this, but somethings you just can not fake. Passion is simply passion, hard to fake. She is freezing all the time, can not sleep, and lost her humor. We are not married, but partners for life. We never argued, EVER, but now she is a little bit wound tight and I miss her gut hurt laughing we once shared. She works and I am retired and wealthy. If I were much younger, I am not sure we would be able to survive. I know she is frustrated so I give her a lot of space. Personally I could live with a wonderful intimate bed time life if we could get on the same page. But she wants us to be like we were, but she is fighting little demons in her head. She is still feminine and so sexy but with an alpha male personality, like a football linebacker, lol. For those that figure this all out, congratulations and for those struggling, be patient and open to exploring how to make things the best they can be. If you truly love each other, it will be easy to chart your path.
My wife had a total abdominal hysterectomy and her recovery was brutal. They punctured her bladder and she had to walk stone with a catheter for 2 MONTHS afterwards. I did EVERYTHING I could to make her feel comfortable and loved. But it is year 3 now… And I have no one to talk to… Sometimes I don’t even know who is sleeping next to me because her anger levels are something I have never witnessed before. She’s been doing naturopathic treatments because she’s worried about potential cancer associated with synthetic HRT. The amount of pills she had to take to SLIGHTLY feel normal. I love my wife so damn much and it breaks my heart that she STILL is recovering. There is no sex. No intimacy. Hardly any humor from her. Anger and discontent are running themes. I try to put myself in her shoes and honestly I wouldn’t know how to act either. She should be upset. She has alot to be upset about. Her CHOICE I have kids is gone. Her playfulness and sex drive has vanished. She often says she doesn’t feel like her old self. I can’t even agree with her for fear of getting verbally ripped apart. I just keep suggesting different treatment that she never looks into. I try to stay positive, but the fact is: The love of my life has disappeared and it physically hurts me. If it wasn’t for a puppy I got her that she loves tremendously, I don’t know where we would be right now.
I genuinely say that I’m lost. I’m trying to love this new persona of hers but it does come with a degree of difficulty.
At the moment, we are bonded with our goals to be healthy as possible and find enjoyment with fitness and nutrition. We travel alot as well to keep learning and enjoying new cultures. But that’s all we have. I’ll keep doing my best to be as supportive and understanding as possible. Hopefully this partnership will find it’s way back into a marriage.
Thanks for reading…
I have no idea if this reply will be read by the author of the original comment, Luis. I just want to say that I am so terribly sorry for you. I think that men can suffer deeply from changes that their wives experience as a result of hysterectomy (even more so when there are complications). And, it must be so lonely having no one to talk to about your feelings. Perhaps you could look into finding a counselor or a support group. Having someone to talk to will be so beneficial to your well being. Obviously, your wife has suffered a great deal, but that should not diminish what you are going through as her partner. I hope that you will seek some support and find a new perspective and enjoyment in your life.
I had a total abdominal hysterectomy on 12. 2.18 because of ovarian cancer. Now coming up to 6 weeks into recovery. It has been the most traumatic and terrifying time of my life, as I’m sure many of you women will understand. My partner of 2yrs has stuck by me through all of it, his patients understanding an care is what has got me through this, he really has been amazing. I would like to say to all you men reading this you can really make a difference to how you’re woman copes with this, her confidence in how she feels about her body afterward can be helped so much by you. How you see her will have a big effect on how she sees herself. My surgery was in the heath Cardiff, surgical staff was good did everything they could for me even though I was absolutely petrified. Ward staff was a completely different story. All the supposed arrangements were completely forgotten I was left without food or drink for 5 days, as I have celiacs and allergies they had made arrangements for food but once on the ward was told it was not possible. The only food an drink I had was brought in to me by my partner. I was discharged at four weeks after one check-up, they told me over the phone that they got it all an don’t need any further treatment. One surgeon told me to wait 8 weeks before trying sex another one told me 10 weeks so I’m at a bit of a loss to know when will really be safe. We are intimate lots of cuddles an touching, I can relive my man in other ways than vaginally which helps us. All advice I have read says to take it gently an slow I know my man will be as gentle as is possible I think he is more nervous an worried about hurting me than I am. He has truly been amazing and to all you men out there I would like to say don’t give up on us to quickly your women might be feeling as lost an scared, insecure maybe even depressed by what has happened, talking together lots of cuddles let her know how you feel about her an how beautiful she still is to you. You can really make a difference to her and you are really important in this too
Linda, we have the same case. I mean my partner got the same problem as you, she was diagnosed with cancer so she underwent a total hysterectomy. It’s been 6 weeks post operation. We are a lesbian couple by the way. But sex life was way better today than before the operation. Before the operation, she was bleeding profusely with lots of pain and needed to undergo 2x blood transfusion.we also found out that she has adenomyosis. So it’s a very complicated situation. Anyway, she was diagnosed stage 1a so the surgery was the answer for that.
Post op I thought, we thought, that she would lose a total feeling of arousement but seriously it was completely different. Our sex life is more active than ever. BUT, it was more of no penetration. Just the clitoris, lubrication is fine with her too.
These statements are appalling and completely contradict NEW studies that show there is no improvement in sex life after hysterectomy. You have also made numerous statements that are simply false, and don’t seem to be aware that they shorten the vagina during the surgery. I have YET to meet someone a year* post-op that thinks sex is better! I am already having prolapse a year and a half after my surgery and sex is incredibly painful. How would removing the sex organs make for a better sex life? I would like you to cite your sources, since you have none. I CAN cite mine… You should be ashamed of yourself.
I totally agree with you most of the drs have no real idea how a hysterectomy affects a woman afterwards I have read something that said it was the same as female castration, how would a man cope with that an then to be told sex will be better ridiculous an totally unfounded
I had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy November 20, 2017 (they only left my ovaries and Vagina), and I was cleared to have sex at 8 weeks post-op. We waited 11 weeks to have sex (this past Sunday morning), as my partner is incredibly well endowed (think porn-star big). I had no complications after surgery and my gynecologist said I was healing excellently – I had no bleeding at all after surgery and went back to work after 2 weeks and thought everything was healing up very well.
He was very gentle and it lasted only 15 minutes (vaginal sex), but as soon as it was over I had such incredibly painful cramps and spasms and pain in my pelvis/vagina/rectum areas that I was writhing in pain on the floor and could not sit up or hardly walk and after suffering for almost an hour was taken by ambulance to the hospital’s emergency ward. I was given morphine and Toradol for the next 7 hours until testing was complete. They could not perform a full internal ultrasound as it was so incredibly painful – even right after having a push of morphine – that the tech. had to stop, so they weren’t able to get a full image of what was happening with my pelvis. The E.R.’s gynecologist did a quick internal exam using her fingers of the surgical area inside me and when she touched the back/top of my vagina/womb area I almost hit the roof in pain. Although bloodwork did not show any infection, she suspects it might be the cause and simply sent me home with a 10-day course of antibiotics and a request to follow up with my surgeon and get into see her as soon as possible.
My surgeon has still not called me back after knowing about my ordeal 4 days ago. Her office said she was informed by the ER gynecologist and if she wants to follow up with an office visit for an exam they will call me – but after 4 days that still hasn’t happened…which I find odd…wouldn’t a surgeon want to investigate why a surgery isn’t healing after 11 weeks – to the point of resorting to an ambulance ride after attempting sex for the first time?
Has anyone else experienced such extreme pain after attempting sex that it took 7 hours on morphine and muscle relaxers to calm everything back down? That was not expressed to me as a side-effect of this surgery. It makes me terrified to attempt sex again to be honest. My partner is understanding but both our patience is running thin at this point.
I just had a full hysterectomy on Dec 11 2017 and my husband and I had sex (which I was on top) the same thing happened to me I was in so much pain I was in tears for about half hr. Well, it’s been 3 days and I’m still sore even when I sit I feel I’m pushing on something or even coughing, sneezing or farting it’s uncomfortable. I had very little spotting but as of today don’t see anything. I feel something is wrong. I call my dr and they can’t see me for 2 weeks which makes me frustrated. I’ll give it few more days and if I feel same I will go to the er and hope they can do some testing. This can’t be normal or ok.
Hi Misty
I had a scan which revealed a fibroid of 22cm and an ovarian cyst of 4cm on my left ovary. I was recommended a full hysterectomy. I was given the same response, that although they were sure there was no cancer, there could be a possibility as my CT levels were abnormal ( the fibroid can raise these levels.) The thought of this operation left me feeling very stressed as I had read about extreme changes and was convinced I wouldn’t feel the same again but more so was the onset of sudden menopause. I had read that sudden menopause would cause symptoms much more severe than natural occurrence. I am in a relatively new relationship and the effect on this with mood swings, loss of libido and sudden ageing really worried me. I am 47 years and like yourself had very regular periods and no affects from the fibroid , other than looking pregnant. I didn’t want to get rid of my uterus , cervix and ovaries for a very big play safe. I discussed too a watchful waiting approach and did not get a positive response. I paid private to gain alternatives and the best solution was to have the full hysterectomy but leave my right ovary in place to keep me out of menopause. I was advised that a myectomy was a far more complicated procedure and would almost certainly require a blood transfusion.
I went ahead with the hysterectomy with preservation of the right ovary on 5 January 2018 and would have done anything not to have gone through with it right to the point of the operating theatre. But it is done now and I am now in to my 7th week of recovery. Personally, now I’ve gone through it, I would not be stressed at all as internally I feel the same. I had abdominal surgery and my wound has opened up which has had to be treated but other than that all ok. My biopsy has come back and all is clear. I have not yet had relations with my partner and will leave it a couple more weeks but after reading the responses below I do feel a little nervous, but feeling as I do I am positive all will be ok.
My surgery was October 20, 2017, last night my, also porn star big, husband and I had a very similar experience. I’m still in pain and am not sure what to do about it.
I have a question about length, my husband is about 7 inchs and before my surgery he would batter my cervix during sex, I have had my surgery December 29th 2017, endometriosis was severe they took everything except my overies, and I am SCARED of sex with my husband now. Since they took my cervix out, and he bottoms out what will happen? Doctor said 2 more weeks today and I am both wanting sex, but scared of it too. I didnt really think of this until after the appointment… Anyone have any experience with this issue?
Pamela, I am anxiously awaiting an experienced response to your concern as I have the exact same situation with length. My surgery was January 8, 2018 leaving me with no cervix to cushion the blow. I read that it takes up to 3 months for the vaginal cuff to completely heal. I guess take it slow and easy.
Hi Ladies, I had my surgery in 2009 had my cervix removed and my vagina shortened and I never had problems since my ex-husband was about 7inches. Well my new man is 9 inches and he bottoms out but it is not pain in of itself, it’s more like the pain/pleasure line being ever so slightly being crossed.
I just had a hysterectomy done on December 1st, 2017. I am only 26 years old and had to have it done because I had Adenomiosis. I am so scared to have sex with my hubby! Its only be a month since my surgery and they had to cut me open to do it. They left my ovaries but took everything else. And I still deal with pain and in my stomach and incision area. and if I have to pee, I get a burning pain up inside where my cervix was removed. Is that normal or is it something I should be concerned about?
I had mine on 12/20/17 and I was having that burning pain. It got worse and I thought my vagina was going to fall out. I went to the doctor and I had an UTI. They gave me meds and the pain is gone.
Wow! After reading all of the comments and stories to the end… I do hope everyone has felt better now in the end of December 2017. I hope the people who struggled when they first posted have healed and have made some positive progress. I firmly believe that time is a great healer, and that physiological factors need to be confronted by men (for them to be more at peace with gentler and calmer sexual pleasure for themselves and their partners) and confronted for women (to slowly find the pleasure that THEY wish to have and feel, when they are ready). I firmly believe in Corinthins 13 (The Holy Bible) where it says “..[the most important things are 3 – Hope, Faith and Love. And the most important is Love]…” Love for me is peace and calm and gentle and giving, especcially when making love to your partner! I hope 2018 will be a good one for all of you! From Dino to you all, over and out from the Land Down Under!
I recently had stomach pain extreme enough to go to the ER. For years I have taken pain pills for ripped discs in my back and a few other injury related things and had run out of my meds. They did a cat scan which revealed that my uterus was enlarged and I have fibroid cysts one is 11 cm, about the size of a mans fist. The emergency room visit was repeated two more times before I finally realized my extreme abdominal pain was withdraw from running out of meds and NOT from my uterine problems. I was horrified, and worse I was unable to share that information with the doctors because I do still need the medication for my back. I am 49 yrs old and still have regular (every 28 days) periods that last 7 days, heavy on only 2 of those days, and not painful. The gyno surgeon I was referred to wants to chemically induce menopause to shrink my uterus (it is enlarged to about a 4th month pregnancy) before vaginally removing it. I was never on board with this plan, and after reading all the posts about the extreme changes a hysterectomy will cause I am even more set against it. If menopause will shrink both my uterus and the fibroids, at 49 I shouldn’t have long to wait. The surgeon seems to think I could keep having periods for another decade or more, and is very dismissive of my “watchful waiting” idea. The only thing I want LESS than a hysterectomy is to die if I don’t have it. There are no indications that these fibroids are cancerous and Ive never had an abnormal pap smear. I can live with not having a flat tummy, it’s not very noticeable somehow. My PCP scares me with the thought that maybe a tiny spot of cancer could be hiding in my uterus, he can’t understand why I’m not embracing this plan. I love sex, my boyfriend is 10 year younger than I am and I couldn’t expect him to stay with me if I lost all interest in or if sex was too painful for me. I’ve seen no posts regarding anal sex after surgery, (not MY favorite but I’m a good sport about it) anyone know about that? Does anyone have a similar situation and have been told by Dr. that “watchful waiting” would be safe? I appreciate the honest, candid stories I have found on this site. Especially from the men, its not like you can just ask your Grandpa (I briefly considered it) how the sex after surgery changed.
Hi Misty
A lot of post menopausal women have to do surgery to remove fibroids. Reaching menopause does not mean that fibroids or the complications from them will disappear.
I understand your concerns about life after surgery since I had laparascopic surgery to remove my uterus in October 2017. Do I regret it? Yes. My surgery did not go well as my ureter was accidentally cut during the procedure. It is a difficult decision to make but your health comes first. Listen to your doctor and explore all the possible alternatives.
I can confirm since my wife had her hysterectomy and has been taking prescription medications that I have perfected the art of self pleasure and no longer feel that sleeping alone is a bad thing. I have turned off just as she has, except for a few moments here and there and it is waaaay toooo much work to try to even get close to her, much less on a romantic level. So I just take care of it and get on with the day.
Yeah, I know it is no way to live life, but at least I had a prior life that was indeed fulfilling and those memories will always be with me.
This sounds just like our marriage. Sex was so painful for her after the operation that I could not bear to hurt her any longer. We have always slept in separate beds because we both snore, and there is virtually no intimacy anymore. I have accepted the fact that my sex life is over and I concentrate on other things outside the marriage. I am not sure that when I promised her for better or for worse I thought it could be worse, but it has been. I am in a totally sexless and loveless marriage. This hysterectomy took my wife away. We are now more like housemates than spouses.
Exhaust all and every non-hysterectomy option you can. My wife had one and it has changed her, to be blunt she cannot think as fast, concentrate and she finds it all but impossible to reach orgasm now.She does manage to get to that point, its nowhere near what it was. Now she shows little to no interest in sex, after almost 23 years of marriage. I am looking outside of our marriage for some sort of relief. We used to have sex at least daily for over 20 years to now once a week and I can tell she has zero interest in it, just “giving it up” so I won’t gripe. which is the worst thing a woman can do, at least to me. I don’t want pity, I want my loving and sexually vibrant wife back. Her female problems still exist so it was not the magic cure all the drs built it up to be. They did the most drastic treatment first and could have gone so many other routes first. I love my wife with all my heart, but the woman I live with today is not my wife. She is a shell of what she was and I sit waiting in the hope the old she will come back. As time goes on, divorce enters my thoughts more and more these days and I feel I am just putting off the inevitable and wasting time I could be enjoying life again (not just the sex aspect either). I have forgotten what its like to be wanted and desired, don’t want to cheat but am exhausted trying different things to try and stimulate her back into living again. She shows no enthusiasm for anything but tv, taking pics of the wildlife on our farm and the food shown on tv. She is a VERY sexy and attractive woman which just makes it all that much worse, as shallow as I’m sure that will sound to many, but its true. She is my dream woman in mind, body and soul, or at least she used to be. The mind and soal aspect seem to be MIA the last few years. Sad, alone and broken-hearted in Ky.
Does total hysterictomy differ from subtotal??
Dryness is the cause of pain or other things??
Is Dryness seen in subtotal also?
I almost lost my life during labour so I am greatful but still afraid it could interfere with my marriage
I had a full hysterectomy on 8/2/17 due to post menopausal bleeding caused by medication I was taking for 5 yrs after breast cancer. After 2 weeks I got a severe infection & my incisions had to be redone right in the dr’s office. My husband & I had sex last week for the first time. He was very gentle and it took alittle longer to get aroused but I did & enjoyed it. Yesterday I saw the dr again to get my final clearance. We had sex last night. This time it was a little painful & this time I didn’t have an orgasm or even get aroused. I’m 51 & the dr never suggested an estrogen replacement. Should I call & ask for something or just deal with the messy lubricants or just deal with it.
I just had my ovaries removes in March 2017, Sex was still enjoyable for me, and I was able to have a orgasm. Now I am having terrible hot flashes was I still desire sex all the time.
I had a hystermony 8 weeks ago and I am so afraid to have sex with my hubby. He is so ready but he told me yesterday lets give it a try and if it hurts he will stop I’m just scared after reading all these stories.
I was the same way,afraid after reading so many stories. But my dr suggested waiting 3 months after surgery,and I’m glad I did. First time with hubby was on this past Labor Day weekend (2017) ,wow it was amazing. I had no pain of any kind,no bleeding at all. It was like being with him for the first time,15yrs ago. I had my surgery June 2,2017,and she left my overies,other than night sweats once in a while,I never felt better. Dr. Mary Burns is a wonderful dr,she saved my life,and gave us back a even better sex life. Listen to your body,not all the stories,every body is not the same. Take your time,do it when you’re ready.
My wife had a hysterectomy nearly 8 weeks ago and I would say to your husband (man to man) that he MUST wait till you are ready. He MUST not hurry you at all! My wife has asked me to touch her and I have very very gently to help her feel some pleasure. We as husbands must show our manhood and wait, be patient, be calm and gentle. We are helping our partners / wives / lovers to feel like the women they want to and need to be, the women THEY want to be. You will be fine, as my wife is DEFINITELY feeling fine enough to ask me to feel pleasure. Slowly slowly SHE will be ok, and I will help her in her own time, to see IF and when she wants more and more. Time is our friend.
I had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy done 10/17/2017, I waited 2.5 months after to have sex and it was painless.
I had classical operation, scarce is awfull, pain after more than year persist, sex is impossible.
I am not able to work normally. Fucking doctors.
HELLO I HAD A TOTAL AND I’M FEELING GREAT, MY SEX LIFE IS STILL POP-ING, AT FIRST IT WAS A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE BUT FEELS GREAT NOW. MY ADVICE IS TAKE YOUR TIME AND RELAX, GIVE YOUR BODY A CHANCE TO GET WHAT IT NEEDS, DO ALLOW YOUR MENTAL TO TAKE OVER AND RUIN FOR SEX LIFE.
Didn’t you mean to say “Don’t allow your mental attitude to take over and ruin your sex life?”
WOW I was so worried life would change for my husband and I after my surgery but after the 6 weeks of healing it was just as wonderful if not better as I’m much more sensitive in a good way during intimate moments!! I thank my amazing Dr who did a great job by leaving almost no scars ,Im just as “tight” as I ever was and lubing isn’t even something I have to worry about.
I feel the same way,my dr left hardly any visible scars,and sex is AMAZING! My dr suggested waiting 3months,which helped me mentally and physically. Our sex life is even better than its ever been. Had no pain or bleeding at all. Dr. Mary Burns saved my life and our sex life
I my self had the Da vinc robotic TAH it’s been seven week and i’m concern about having sex again . I’m afraid! my husband of 49 years has been patient ! I feel real good no pain . we are both 64 and i kn that he know’s it’s going to be 8 weeks but i tell him please be gental when the time comes ! i just hope i can feel and enjoy the sex like before.
My wife had a total hysterectomy 10 weeks ago and I searched all over the place to find out how to best care for her afterwards. I wanted to know what it would mean for her. I never thought to look at what it would mean for me. She is lubricating super well. Too well. Her vagina is very loose now and the extra lubrication has made it difficult to maintain an erection, impossible to have an orgasm in the missionary position. It was a terrible loss, but I was grateful that she wasn’t suffering any more. She practically bled out from fibroids. We finally found that with her lying on her stomach that I get enough sensation to have an orgasm, and she can feel me better. I am a little bigger than average, thicker and sex was always wonderful with her. There is a loss for both of us but we also remain committed to having a good sex life even with the new changes. Over time we hope that she can build up her pelvic floor muscles and that things will be more normal.
Thank you for this comment this is what I observe. I was a virgin before total hysterectomy and I feel loose, empty and cold inside.
Go back to the dr & discuss WHY your wife is “too loose.” In the States, the common hysterectomy surgical technique includes “tightening up the vagina.” If the surgeon DIDNT do this in the original surgery, request a second surgery for this to be done & make sure you are NOT CHARGED FOR THIS! However, before committing to this procedure, I would also get 2 MORE OPINIONS. LM, RN, BS … TAH, 6/9/1986
Thanks to you Ted. Although I am sorry that there were unexpected changes after your wife had her surgery, I am so grateful to you for posting as the male view point was exactly what I was hoping to find. I will NOT be helping pay for my gynos new “robotic Di Vinci” machine, which is why I suspect he would recommend I have the surgery when my fibroids aren’t causing me much if any problems. I hope things improve for you both!
Just want to say thanks for all this info. I had my uterus removed 7 weeks ago due to adenomyosis and fibroids. I put off surgery for years until I needed a blood transfusion. As of right now, sex is a horrible disappointment and depressing to think about. It’s similar to opening an empty gift box. The uterus made the full body experience. You know, the kind that makes you talk like a drunk and need a nap? Gone. I hope it gets better or I think I’ll just forget it. Best wishes too for everyone else going through this stuff.
Hi am Nancy.
I went through mys in 2014. And when I found out that I had to get surgery cause of fibroids I was like I’m not going to ever be able to have sex again. I don’t worry about it. Cause hopefully one when I find my mate he’ll be gentle. But I still get Morist down in my area real wet. I’m already healed. But I felt just like you did but not now.
Don’t give up!! I had a total hysterectomy many many years ago. After I healed the sex was great because there were still hormones working, but after a while, my interest wasn’t there. We went 3 years without sex. I am still married, but my husband and I live in separate houses now. I found out he got involved with a much younger woman for sex. I went crazy. We have been working on getting our marriage back together now and we had sex the other night. I had to use a lot of coconut oil as a lubricant and it worked great. I had an orgasm, but it wasn’t the same feeling as before not as intense since I think I had uterine orgasms before. It was still very pleasurable, but different. As long as I can keep trying to have sex with my husband, our marriage just might work. Don’t give up. Make your relationship romantic, wear sexy clothes that will make you feel sexy. Be creative and that spark will come back.
i HAD MY HYSTERECTOMY THREE MONTHS AGO CAN I HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND NOW AND HOW LONG IT IS ADVISABLE TO TAKE PREMARIN TABLET HORMONE TABLET PLEASE ADVICE
Anu…. hasn’t your doctor given you the go-ahead? 10 weeks is usually tops for normal healing unless u have had complications…your vagina entrance may be tighter than usual and take time to stretch back…and with the change in hormones orgasms make take time to be great again.That’s been my experience anyways.
As for premarin that’s a very old hormone replacement…ask yr Dr about ESTRACE a newer more natural estrogen replacement. Estrogen is good for us…for lubrication for orgasms for our heart etc…I plan on taking it forever..I only take .25 mg every other day .I may increase to every day if I need to…it’s still a very low dose. Good luck to you.BTW I’m 60 and had a full hysterectomy.
Thank you everyone for your feedback and experience. I have had my hysterectomy 6weeks ago. Never had sex as yet waiting to go to my doctor for my check up but I have been experiencing pain in my tummy on the inside. Is this normal? I have been bleeding up until a few days ago. Still feeling very tired but pain is much better.
Agie
From my experience you may have needed to contact your Dr. Since you are having abdominal pain and still bleeding up to a few days ago. Bleeding is different for everyone but if its heavy and longer than 3 weeks plus you had abdominal pain past the 2nd week could be an infection needing antibiotics. I would call the dr although your appt is soon.I pray all goes well.
Still having difficulties 5yr later after undergoing a partial hystorectomy wasn’t sexually active until 3yrs later and bled profusely when I did have sex.I tried a second time 2yrs later and the samething happened also very uncomfortable feels like my vagina is ripping when being penetrated, hurts while urinating at times as well. I don’t have insurance so I can’t seek medical help,if only I’d looked deeper into it. I regret ever going through with the procedure my life is on hold by the way I just turned 50…
Mrs.Ruthie, I had my surgery a long time ago when my daughter was about yrs.old. I was diagnosed with cancer bone cancer stage 4 in 2012 & I also had MRSA as well. But everything is fine now. But me and my husband of almost 11yrs, and had some problems with our sex life, cause everything I went through at the time, our sex life went downhill. I had ended up in menopause during the cancer treatment then. But before all that took place our sex life was great. But after all that I didn’t want my husband to touch me, I was scared to have sex with him. It was times he wanted me to please him. But I finally started giving in, but mine gyn told me to use the my jelly and it works.The first time we got back to having sex and I went to use the bathroom afterward, I saw some blood and called my gyn.My gyn said that usually happens when you are dry in the vagina and that is the reason he told me to get the KY jelly. We use it when we have sex.But Mrs.Ruthie just tell your husband to be gentle and use the KY jelly, and you will see a big difference. I just turned 44yrs.old in 03/2017& my husband just turned 59yrs.old in 09/2017.My name is Mrs Yolanda D.Johnson.The reason your bleeding like that is because your vagina is too dry and if use the KY jelly, and your husband work it in slowly you will see the difference.So please don’t be afraid to give it a try and you will see the difference. God Bless you and your husband Mrs.Ruthie. I just wanted to share my story with you and I pray that my story will help you and your husband. Cause sometime me and my husband will rest and go for round two sometime.But my husband wasn’t always gentle but I let him know that it hurts, and then eventually he learned to be gentle putting it in. Until this day he is gentle with me when it comes to us making love.To me making love is better than sex when you have a husband.
I wish when I had my surgery back in 2010 I knew of this support. I had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis at the age of 34. I was sooo confused and alone and this would have helped me tremendously.. When I had the total hysterectomy I ended up with a bad infection and it pushed me into a deep depression. Looking back now I believe it was because I had no one to really talk to about it. I’m glad to see that there is a support system because I wouldn’t want anyone to endure what I did. To all you ladies whom is enduring a hysterectomy. Please know if you go through the depression part like I did the darkness don’t last it do pass.. If you have depression don’t be ashamed to go talk to a therapist because they really do help you through it..
Thank you for your message. I am 34 and had a hysterectomy after having given the endometrial ablation a try. The ablation made everything worse, I can only describe the whole thing as having made my body even more furious with me. I am now 8mo out from having had a hysterectomy along with removing the cervix, and fallopian tubes. Originally they had planned to take my left ovary as it causes nothing but pain and issues after going in they discovered I had endometriosis behind my uterus in my pelvis and also on my left ovary. They removed all the endo and left my ovary which has caused nothing but issues from a huge ruptured cyst to nearly constant pain that everyone (ER Dr’s, my gyn who couldn’t help me as I had to move, and regular family practitioners) is sure it is due to the regrowth of the endo. Anyways to make a very long painful story short(er), I am in near constant pain, have been seen in the ER repeatedly, still have to rely on pain medications regularly as well as taking Motrin/Tylenol around the clock and to add insult to injury sex is so painful I have avoided it for nearly 6wks causing great distress to my husband when we are already having matrital issues due to this and other things. I am so depressed, the pain causes depression, the depression causes pain and I feel stuck in a never ending battle just to catch my breathe and try to enjoy life.
I want to withdraw from everything and everyone around me… I have 3 young children that need me and I just feel so empty aside from the pain.
Chronic Endometriosis since age 11. I do not have children & I’m considered extremely high risk due to several clotting factors. Since age 11, I have been on my period more than off of it. I bleed 90 days straight, very heavy bleeding & clotting, then I’d be off it for 2 weeks. I’m debating on whether or not to have a partial hysterectomy. I have had 9-10 laparoscopies for endometriosis & ovarian cysts removal & dilation & curettage (D&C)’s. My life is focused around my cycle since age 11, I’m 36 now. I’ve always wanted a child of my own, but hearing that it would be life threatening to me as well a child. As much as reading this back to myself, one would think why is she not going through with this procedure? But there is a part of me that thinks a little more suffering & I can get pregnant, which that happened in 2001, resulting in a miscarriage. I wonder if sex would be as painful as it is now after a partial hysterectomy? There isn’t a comfortable position for me. Prior to sex I have to take a shot of alcohol or wait until a pain pill such as Vicodin or Percocet kicks in. How romantic is that? Does anyone else suffer from severe shooting pains up into your vaginia or have trouble sitting up right & putting pressure on your bottom with pain shooting into your vaginia? If you do/did did that pain go away after your partial hysterectomy? So many questions… Do I continue to suffer my usual severe pain for months on end or take a risk & have partial hysterectomy? This is a procedure that you can’t reverse, my nerves are shot. Any thoughts or concerns would be greatly appreciated! I’m split & I can’t make up my mind. People around me don’t understand how painful endometriosis is daily.
Yes, that’s what am going through, had surgery 2/2/18 and still in pain and it hurts so bad when I pee or pass gas it makes my stomach hurt bad and my cat.
I had my hysterectomy 9 days ago and was out of bed a day a surgery.I feel good and waiting to see what will be the pros and con’s
I had my surgery on 6/02/17,and I was out of bed next day. It’s been 13 days now,and I’m walking around fine no pain,still not doing any housework or heavy lifting of any kind. But I’m worried about how sex is going to feel after. I had a very high sex drive before,and concerned I won’t feel much of anything anymore.
I had mine on 09/06/2017 as well. Feeling great. Going on 7 weeks. I want to wait until 8 weeks before intercourse. I had a complete hysterectomy and no regrets. I suffered for years and put everyone else and their needs before mine. My back hurts some as I need to make a massage appointment. I’m taking Estrapause–all natural supplement as recommended by a friend.
Just make sure you listen to your drs. Don’t do any lifting or housework of any kind. I’m in my 8th week now,and thought I was ok,and started lifting my 10 month old god daughter on Wed and Thur of last week. Friday morning I was in drs office with severe pain in my lower body,sides and back. Thank God I didn’t tear my cuff or anything inside. So definitely be careful. Even when you’re feeling great,don’t think you can do your normal.
Hi Nancy
I’m definitely glad to hear that you were happy. It’s a lot in life to offer I had to learn that after my hysterectomy back 2014. I felt like being depressed but I wasn’t it’s the way of life. Please reply back to me thanks. I’m Nancy.
I’m 5 weeks out. I have been doing a lot of walking since week 2. I’m 44. Still have both ovaries. I get the sweaty boobs at night while sleeping like someone mentioned after this surgery. I haven’t experienced bleeding beyond day 2 post surgery. I feel great for the most part. Not cleared by Dr to have sex with my husband yet. I’m nervous about that. He seems like he is on the edge of his seat while waiting but says he understands. Listening to your stories here helps a lot
I’m right here with you. I’m almost 4 weeks out too. my husband is 10 years younger than me and its hard to wait. I have been reading horror stories online about couples who don’t wait. I’ve already gone back to work and except for pains here and there I’ve been doing ok but I don’t sleep a lot and I’m getting hot a lot too which is crazy for me cause I’m usually freezing. I hope I balance out soon
best of luck to you
I had a total hysterectomy 5 weeks ago . I physically and mentally feel so much better. I had a lot of pain for first two weeks but is much better now. I had large fibroids and enlarge uterus the size of a 5to6 months pregnancy. Was having long heavy periods. I had already started having night sweats and mood swings. Since the surgery my husband and I have not had sex. I am patiently waiting until we are given the go by my doctor. Now could any one tell me how is sex after a total with ovaries gone. Do you still have the feeling of an orgasm.
Gloria,
I had a total radical hysterectomy last March due to an ovarian tumor. Although initially my orgasms were much weaker than pre-hysterectomy, they have gradually improved since then, and are much more powerful and pleasurable.
I had a total hys..don’t rush sex…stitches can take up to 10 weeks to completely dissolve. You’ll be tighter from no activity for weeks and probably not as relaxed as usual..take it easy….it takes awhile to get back in the swing of things…make sure u r lubricated.it’s taken 5 months to have really great orgasms again. I’m just glad it’s happening! we’re all different…our men need to back off on their sexual satisfaction and be loving and caring..good luck..be patient
I’m in my 4th week and feel the same way too!!!! My hubby says he understand but i think he’s nervous like i am. My M.D. haven’t released me yet. I still have a little pain in the stomach but feel good otherwise.Thanks ladies for this comment page..
My sister had ovarian cancer and had to have a radical hysterectomy last year. She still feels pain during intercourse. Low and behold, I also needed a hysterectomy in June, due to cervical cancer. My ovaries were also removed. I have had sex twice, and sadly it was very painful. I’ did have an orgasm, but that hurt as well. The whole experience has left me saddened. I need to make an appointment with my surgeon, as I hear from others that sex is not any different and orgasms, although not as intense, can still be enjoyed. One woman I know has a better sex life with stronger orgasms. Good luck to you. To us all. Have a nice day.
I had my surgery on November 27 of last year. I waited seven weeks before having sex. Although i’m not as moist as i used to be, it’s been great. I haven’t had to use any lubricants. Sometimes a little painful when too deep. As far as an orgasm, it’s all good.
I had a partial hysterectomy four days ago. The pain has significantly decreased although I am experiencing breast tenderness. I have not had sex but I have a strong desire for intimacy. Hopefully,I will be able to continue to have enjoyable sex with my partner once my body heals. I never considered the risk of having a decreased libido. Thank you for this article.
Hello, I have been putting off the surgery for like 4 years now since doctor mentioned. Went to the doctor because when start to workout I begin to get shorter of breath he checked me and said my uterus was enlarged. The look of me being 4 months pregnant. No pregnancy though tubes are tied. But lately breathing been more shorten less floating of the uterus. Have anyone experience that.
I was short of breath as well but I also had hart palpations with light activity. For example, going up a flight of stairs. I was found by my OBGYN to be anemic due to enlarged fibroids which was caused those symptoms. I ended up almost passing out at work and then a month later having a partial laporscopic hysterectomy on 9/11/17.
I want to thank the article contributor for a realistic portrayal of what women may experience after undergoing hysterectomy. When I had mine and realized I had lost a great deal of my sexual response, all I could find were article after article proclaiming your sex life will be better than ever, and it won’t affect your ability to orgasm. That is soooooo wrong for many of us. Even with HRT i personally struggle with extreme dryness, and orgasms are both difficult to achieve very weak facsimiles of what I used to experience. While I did have to have hysterectomy for medical reasons, no one told me how drastically this would change my sexual enjoyment.
Remember change doesnt have to be bad there’s alsorts of lubricants available and foreplay is the key factor, I feel alot of orgasm is created within you feeling emotional connection and relaxation.. The build up I you like. The more you focus on the negative the more difficult you will find it, try to build up the anticipation the feeling. I have had a hysterectomy and repair.. And am focusing on making the future positive and aiming not to compare to the previous experience … I hope things can be more positive for you you find a way to build up the feelings regards T
Try using estrogen cream in yr vagina.
I totally agree with you. It’s been 10 weeks since my hysterectomy and sex is still not enjoyable. I’m trying lubrication stil not enjoying it. Still hopeful and playful. It has definitely changed for my husband and I.
im having my partial hysterectomy in a couple weeks and im super worried about how it will affect sex with my husband too im 43 hes 34 but hes also very understanding too. im still scared to death all the different advice is helping. wish me luck
Its most positive thing ive done, there’s no guarantee but just remember alot of orgasm comes down to connection feeling relaxation and wanting… I’m 5 weeks after and my operation was to improve my.life so I’m staying focused its all scary but my labido has increased since op… I’m hopeful itl be all I’m aiming if it isn’t then I will aim with my.partner to get it there as a team as together we can do it in sure … Good luck and hope to chat regards T
I ENDED UP HAVING A TOTAL HYSTERCTOMY IT WILL BE A WEEK TOMORROW MY LABS WERE WAY OFF AND I ENDED UP GETTING A BLOOD TRANSFUSION, AND WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DAY SURGERY PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 4 DAYS. NOW IM IN SUPER BAD PAIN IM DIZZY AND NAUCIOUS ALL THE TIME AND IM VERY VERY VERY MOODY IM EITHER UPSET CRYING OR MAD MY HUSBAND AND 3 SONS DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I HOPE THEY CAN HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS AND IT GETS BETTER. I KNOW IT TAKES TIME BUT THE PAIN IS SO BAD I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. ANY ADVICE.??? THANK YOU FOR HAVING AN OUTLET FOR US TO MAYBE GET ADVICE AND HELP. THANKS ROXANNE
Roxanne, some women experience more pain after their surgery than others. This depends on the reason for the hysterectomy and the organs removed. I remember being very emotional the first days after surgery. This was the immediate effect of my ovaries being removed they told me. Take the pain meds prescribed by your dr. and take plenty of rest. As your wounds start to heal the pain will gradually get less. If the same pain continues I suggest you give your doctor a call.
Sorry to hear how hard your finding this Roxanne, I was in a lot of pain, for the first 2 weeks stay on them meds and even then a reduce strength meds, I still have Zaplin, I’m 5 weeks in. I didn’t have my ovaries removed but it still sent them crazy and I’m having a mini menopause and my emotions are all over, at least if you know it’s happening your aware. I just sit and cry some days, others I’m so cross and frustrated at what I’m going through as well as the hormone side. I feel its about keeping yourself in check. I say to the kids please just let me have space I’m in such a mood right now I just need time, and I’m just so sad right now and have a cuddle with the hubby a, since our son was born 4 years ago. Now I’ve had this operation my anxiety is very high as I have so much hope on this. I had a hysterectomy and posterior and anterior and perineum repair, the operation is still massive although less intrusive. I keep reminding myself this takes time listen to yourself in still sleeping in the day. Sadly, I also got an infection which has slowed my recovery and I’m back to pottering around the house, no walk of distance so as not to place added pressure on incisions. I had to talk to my children 21 / 11 and 3 years and explain during a level day even little ones do understand. Olly 3, holds my hand when I’m sad and bless him tries to make me laugh. Information is key .. Share your challenge with them helps them understand. Take care Roxanne and remember this is for a better life .. I’ll keep an eye on my emails now I know your talking xx there is light at the end of the tunnel, as my daughter says “just keep swimming “
I’m 30 and having my surgery in 3 weeks… I was really excited at first for no more bleeding during sex / all the time. As I read everyone’s comments I’m kinda starting to freak out… I haven’t had a great sex life and now I’m afraid I won’t have one at all..the plan is to keep my ovaries unless they don’t look good. I have 4 handsome boys that I’m a mother to… please tell me I will still feel like a woman…
Hey, I’m 31 and had a partial (kept one ovary everything else is gone) and to me sex is more intense now… I love it!!
Hi, I’m Nesha, 33 Just had my surgery about 3 weeks ago I still have my ovaries but no uterus or cervix. I haven’t had sex yet but I still have orgasms yeeees! I’m not sure what sex will be like tho, and I’ve awakened a few times with sweaty boobs I’m sure this was related to the hysterectomy so some nights I just sleep with my shirt off. But no other complaints. Hope it goes well for you.
Thank You Nesha! I really appreciate your response it eases my mind a lot!
I can sympathize with you as read through these, I have been on Depoprovera injections every three months for 12-15 yrs now, immediately following the exploratory lap where it was found the only thing not covered in endometriosis was my tubes, ha, how’s that for cruel joke by life, I was experiencing some bleeding issues earlier this month and since I don’t have and haven’t in 12-15 yrs hAd a period I knew the bright red blood I was losing was not right. Well after a abdominal and transvaginal ultrasound it was found to not only have had a large cyst burst why all the blood, both ovaries are now covered and stay covered with multiple small cyst. With this new diagnosis and the extreme endometriosis diagnosis at 25 yrs old I was give a very slight 25% chance of conceiving which I did once but immediately lost it with in the first two months. I realize that when I go for my appt with obgyn I’m going to have to prolly schedule surgery, I’m wondering though is it possible to harvest a few eggs to be froze for lil while at the time of the hysterectomy? Anyone possible know what kinda money that will cost
Hi I just had a full hysterectomy 3 weeks ago and I had a bladder mesh put in I made the mistake of having sex at the 3-week Mark I’m having a little bit of pain and some discharge and I want to know if I’ll be okay I have the desire to be intimate with my boyfriend please if you have any advice on the issue let me know I’d love to hear from you thank you
Sex is a no go for 6-8 weeks .. External stimulation fine but nothing should be inserted into the vagina due to infection n risk of opening incisions..
Please Linda…You have your whole life ahead of you. Give it the full eight weeks. There is bacteria on the penis (sweat,urine, etc.). Do you really need any more problems. Have oral sex for now. Good luck.
I had removed one fibroid in 2014 and I was fine, but now again it’s started bleeding. I am so worried please help
I HAD MY SURGERY IN 2014…BUT LATELY, WHEN I HAVE SEX MY VAGINA BECOMES VERY TENDER AND SORE. IT ALSO CAUSES ME TO HAVE SOME KIND OF ISSUE TO WHEN I WIPE I HAVE SOME UNUSUAL DISCHARGE LIKE DEAD SKIN….WHAT COULD THIS Be???PLEASE HELP!!!
I had had Hysterctomy in oct it hurts in my lower abdomen & stomach feel sore what could it be
I had my hysterectomy ( only my overies are left) almost 6 weeks now. I was having the same issues a little pain on my right side lower ab and I started to spot and then bleed soon after. My mother drove me to the emergency and they did a CT scan. My results were I had developed blood clots. The on call gynecologist removed them immediately one of the clots was (he said) as big as his hand. I was admitted into the hospital for 2 days so they could watch my blood levels. However, after the removal of those pesky blood clots I stopped bleeding and the pain was also gone. So I would recommend a CT scan that’s how my clots were discovered. They showed as a unknown fluid in my lower abdomen. Good luck to you 🙂
I’m now afraid to start up the sexual part of my life again 🙁
I’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last 5 yrs! I’ve known for about the last 3 yrs I’ve been having cysts on my ovaries; as they would come and go or rupture causing crazy pains. Ever since my college years my period has been abnormal; sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes 3-7 days, sometimes 7-10 days, spotting throughout the month- it’s been really crazy but I’ve been dealing with it b/c ever since I’d been a little girl I always dreamed of having my own little girl one day but now I’m feeling like just giving up and getting a full hysterectomy! I went to the doctor 2 wks ago for a follow up vaginal ultrasound and the sonographer found 5 fibroids on my uterus! Would this be something that’s preventing me from getting pregnant?? Anyone with any answers??
If you still want to have children you have other options instead of a hysterectomy. If it is only five pounds and can be removed just do not wait too long to have it removed. The fibroid will continue to grow and make another fibroid. My best friend sister had a 5 pound fibroid removed 4 weeks ago with Laposrospy. She is doing well planning on having a baby 2017. Good luck, hope this post can help you.
This is the fourth week after total hysterectomy….I’m 51. Have spotting and discharge…Night sweats have eased off…Still have urges of sex…Hoping it will be fine after the 8th week.
This is my 3 week of partial hysterectomy @50. The only problem I am having is I am still sore and tender on this. I was told to walk more. Also no appetite along with a night sweats twice. Really ready to get back to normal
activities. I try my best to look past the sex issue. Because I am already scared for when that time comes. My husband od like hound, he can’t wait until we go to the doctor on the 31 to get a clear report.
I wonder would I still have the FIRE…
I had TAH 02 November 2016. I was suffering from fibroids and have bleeding 10 to 16 days of periods. It was very painful. I was bleeding during sex even though I was not in periods. But my operation is going well, no pain or bleeding. But I have hot flushes and sweating day and night.But I never did sex after hysterectomy. I hope next year I will try to do it. I’m 47yrs old. Good luck all you ladies.
I had a total also I am 58, I have hot flashes still and have been having sex with no pain. I had mine done in August. I hope all goes well with you.
I just can’t wrap my head around it. I think my wife may be one of the unlucky women who just don’t want sex at all anymore. I can’t think of sex with anyone else but she has told me so many different things to avoid sex. I know she has had the rough time here but I’m in a certain spot myself. I’m constantly having to regroup so to speak and expecting it to get better. Should I leave? No, she freaks out if I mention it. I know she masturbates but what’s wrong with me? I am so in love and I don’t want to leave but I have needs. I don’t mind adjusting g how we have sex I just want to have sex no…make love to the woman I’m in love with.
Hi
I feel your pain I am a woman in your wife’s situation ! I adore my husband and have pushed him away so much I fear I may have lost him! I wish I knew the answers – I had total hysterectomy Nov 2015 and I am now desperate for help
This is one of my many fears. My wife and I have always had a very robust sex life. I fully understand and am extremely supportive of the medical necessity of having this procedure done. But I just feel like I’m going to lose her completely. I’m literally a wreck and I’m bordering on seeing a psychologist to try and find some way of coping.
I posted today on earlier comments above and did not realise there were so many many more comments and stories – including men! As a man I do understand you Gordo, please consider this…. IF we as men had to through ANYTHING remotely close to what women have to go through we would want time to heal. As a man show your manhood and be creative in releaving your needs BUT give time for your loved one to hel mentally and physically, no matter how long it takes! My wife tells me when she wants pleasure and she had a historectomy 6 weeks ago… She seems to slowly like the gentle pleasure and touch for now, so that is a good thing! Time is our friend! You will be fine!
Hi had a full hysterectomy due to womb cancer on 5/12/16.just over a week and i feel great. Am sore but feel really good. Had hernia fixed same time so have 9 keyhole incisions. They do not hurt. Its amazing. Thanks to singleton hospital swansea .
Thank you all, my wife had this procedure about 4 weeks ago, no sex is ok for now just want her well again.
I had the operation on 11/14/2016 and wouldn’t wish it on anyone you really got to give it some thinking and read up on it first I’m 41 of age and these night sweets are horrible, about the sex life don’t know yet,m waiting my 8 weeks out. But women give it some thinking. But if it cost you to be cancer free go for it. But this isn’t the best thing that ever happened to me, I don’t see how some women sit up and say that. But different strokes for different folks and I did recover quickly though. I had the robotic kind but another thing when I urine it feels funny like a catheter is being pulled out anyone having them problems please respond.
I’m 24 and had my hysto at 23.. due to terrible endometriosis and cysts on both ovaries. Got EVERYTHING taken out. And scraped out(endometriosis) Luckily I had my eggs removed/frozen a few months prior to surgery. Have had sex twice since.. and both times hurt a lot! And bled a lot too. So I’m just going to refrain from it for as long as possible till we may try again..
You said you had your eggs removed a few weeks prior, is that because it’s not and option to remove them during the hysterectomy? And if I may be so bold I have Medicaid which won’t pay for the egg harvest and freezing, what does that run generally
hysterectomy appears to be a necessary evil if the pre-hysterectomy symptoms like bleeding and pain are becoming unbearable. One can do without sex as long as one remains alife.
I’m due to have laparoscopic hysterectomy in one month. I am scared on many levels.. sexual changes, and possible serious ones afterwards…the information I have found online, is making me rethink everything. I have never had surgery, and much of what I read has been negative.. is there anyone with a positive experience out there. I’m 43, have high grade abnormal paps, with 6 beautiful kids. I wish there was another way to avoid possible cancer in the future.
Hi Michelle, You are in a difficult situation. I had the same as you and don’t regret that I had the hysterectomy. Both my parents died of cancer and believe me you better have a hysterectomy than risking going through the ordeal of cancer treatment. Neither would I risk my kids growing up without their mom. I always tried to be positive and was grateful I got a second chance at life. Good luck and God bless.
I had my surgery 3 & 1/2 weeks ago keyhole I had cancer in the uterus. Healing really well. I was up and out of bed the day after surgery. Good luck with ur operation
Hi Michelle,
I had a total hysterectomy one year ago. My surgeon performs the DaVinci method.
I am much older than you (59).
I was terrified when I heard the word cancer.
I am here to tell you, it was a very positive result. I was b
Nervous because I was referred to a huge hospital system in Chicago.
The care I had was impeccable, my pain was managed well and I had no complications.
To reduce the possibility of the cancer returning, I opted for highdose radiation called brachytherapy.
My sex life has been great afterward. I feel wonderful and went right back to an active lifestyle after complete healing.
I hope I am giving you reassurance that you will be fine. Don’t listen to scary stories people might share!
I rambled I know but want to reassure you that it will be okay!
Hi I’m Nesha, I’m 33 I’ve had a partial hysterectomy for the same reasons. I had unusual paps and extreme bleeding and pain with my periods, at I first discussed an ablation but was assured that ablation would take away the pain only the bleeding. My doctor gave me an ultrasound and felt that It wasn’t necessary to remove my ovaries because I was not showing any issues with my ovaries but felt the need to remove my uterus . After surgery I was told my uterus was enlarged and found fibroids on my uterus as well. I’m so glad I had this procedure. I know that my quality of life will be better. Hope this helps you.
Hello I had my hysterectomy 7 days ago today , I’m afraid I won’t be able to feel everything like I could. I also had some reconstructive surgery on the outside where I had ripped and had damage from giving birth. So things are tighten up too I’m very afraid to have sex thinking I’m going to tear what was fixed or orgasims will hurt . Can anyone answer to being able to still squirt after having a hysterectomy.
Hi, I can tell you that yes it is still possible but may be less intense. I had my radical hysterectomy 7/2016. Had infection which resulted in longer healing time. I’m 52. Before surgery, my husband of 22 years was experiencing a lack of libido due to low testosterone. I was experiencing overwhelming frustration and it was affecting my self-esteem and our whole relationship. I’d had pelvic mesh and reconstruction of the labia at 36 and recovered ourselves from that within a year. I have lost some of my libido even with HRT. However, it might be a blessing and far better than losing my mind. I can accept that I’m (we’re) getting older and with that, we both now have less drive. And yes it takes awhile to adjust both physically and mentally. Communication and knowledge are keys to a full recovery. I might also remind you to not expect things to be exactly the same because you are not the same. Life is ever-changing so we must adapt… Good luck to you.
I had robotic hysterectomy 6 weeks ago. My doctor said everything seem fine. I don’t have any pains or discomfort but I am still taking things easy. I still have my ovaries but still scared to have sex.I am waiting some more as I want inside to heal properly. I still have my urges and everything feels normal so far.
Dr. Cleared me also just be easy I can’t wait till tonight
i have only 2 weeks of my operation.you answer all my question. yes its difficult now about the sex life after the hysterectomy…but i hope i will be ok now from sufferring in 3 yrs of bleeding.
Hello i had a bad delivery an they had to remove my uterus an my stomach hurts so bad at time
I had a TAH and removal of ovaries 10 days ago due to a huge ovarian cyst.
I feel better already but I’m worried about loss of libido and whether I’ll be able to orgasm.
Anyone had the same op ? I’m 54 and had already gone through my menopause.
I also had tah and ovaries removed after years of troubles and found out I had 20cm cyst ! I had no choice – I strongly believe this has destroyed my marriage! I seem to be mentally and physically unable to even consider sex so much do I cause arguments or drink to avoid the situation! I had no idea this was going to happen.
Gutted
I’m discussing a hysterectomy with my doctor and I’m a bit freaked out at the thought of losing the internal climax spasms.
It took me work, research, and practice to learn how to do those.
And they are quite fun. Really, awesomely, giggly fun. I’m kind of disturbed over this.
How come men get pills that make everything great for them until they are in the senior’s home, but I have to trade in my dance party for soft rock radio? For life? With no medical advances to make it better? And I’m only 44!!
well how do you do it t
hen Tan as my love life has been destroyed
I had a hysterectomy 2 weeks ago. You will feel better at 2 weeks. But if your doctor tells you to wait 6 weeks it’s for a reason. I had two outings a few days ago. It felt fine when I was out and about. Last night I was in pain . You got to take it easy. Reading about sex after operation makes me nervous. But line everyone has posted to take things slow, it makes me feel better.
Thanks for talking about this sensitive subject .
I had a hysterectomy 5 weeks ago tomorrow and I was just wondering how the orgasm is after hysterectomy does anyone know?
Also I was wondering if it’s ok for my husband to use his fingers? On the outside of course?
Yes!!!! I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago! And my husband touches me gently and I am arroused. We must wait the six weeks .
I can’t have one, what happened to you
I’m 34 and scheduled to have a TAH in a few weeks due to large fibroid and a few small ones and an enlarged uterus. I was so stressed by the heavy bleeding and the pain that I was looking forward to this operation. Now as I am getting closer I am so scared. I have 2 daughters and now single. But I still feel like I might be getting robbed of my femininity. No uterus no tubes no cervix and possibly no ovaries if “they look bad”… I just feel confused. Thanks everyone & God bless you all.
I agree. I am scared, nervous and sort of relieved of a possibility of a thought for my quality of life significantly improving. I am 35 yr old scheduled for total hysterectomy October 11th. I was told if overies are good they will leave them in. Excessive bleeding and huge clotting scares hubby because he see the discomfort I go through when the clots trying to pass; on and off my periods & sex play.bloating cramping sharp pains pulling feeling and blowing air inside/lightening bolts.. feeling leg pains and cramps shooting down legs back pain and side pain by kidneys. The pressure is extreme but can only take Tylenol until after surgery as of now. Not sure how big these are exactly but my organs have been moved big time because of the grotesque size weight and mass. I will tell ya one thing it sucks that us ladies have to go through this part. I wish it was another way for me but all my specialist and docs agree it should be removed immediately the mass too big for any other form of removal as to my organs in jeopardy. Took a while to get right doc who even felt comfortable and confident to perform the surgery. I will report back afterwards to let you all know what’s going on in my new life..although a little shook I have faith that all will be pain free after healing process, support and exercise.
good afternoon, I had my hysterectomy June 16th and I feel much better. I had a total hysterectomy to where I still have my ovaries. I also had fibroids that bothered me so much and before you know it the surgery will be over and you will be on your way to a new life. I’m still kind of scared having sex. my boyfriend is so supportive we decided to wait the full 8 weeks he wants to make sure I’m completely healed. however, I had a orgasm from 4 play with him. it made me feel much better knowing I can still have after my hysterectomy so don’t worry have your surgery.
This really made me feel better knowing you could still have an orgasm.
I am so sorry I will pray for you with God all things are possible
I’m so nervous to have a hysterectomy. I am 41 & have fibroids, pain, heavy bleeding. Today I had my vaginal ultra sound & my sonogram & mammogram. I’m so confused & not sure to go through with the surgery.
Go on and do it, u will feel so much better, I had one five weeks ago and I’m doing great!!!
I wish I really had done my research on what other options I had. At 30 my sex life is suffering because of pain after my hysterectomy. I had the procedure 3 months ago and I am having so much pain during sex.